nana

2010-05-12T22:20:00.002+08:00

i've finally realise what love is.
you.
love is you.
its been long since i last felt ur skin on mine.
its been long since i last recieved ur care.
and i finally understood what real love does to someone.
what real love is.

btw,find me at tumblr instead :)

http://stepharinananana.tumblr.com

xoxo,

you know you love me

Nana <3

a picture speaks a thousand words

2010-03-13T21:44:00.010+08:00

Hello:D
i've actually realised that there are people reading this spaceof mine.
so sorry for the emotional sessions i had.
it had been a hard time without him.
things got way out of hands when stories twisted thanks to some "friends".
but hack.i dont give a damn.
thankfully for some events that got me the courage to talk to him again.
well, things are working out just fine now.
we actually spent some alone time and talked things out.
im actually thankful he came back.
maybe its true that i can't live without him :D

okayy i guess i'llmake up to what mylife had been gg thru.
i really wished things could have gone back to my cousin's wedding.
things were just as fine then.
and that was on the 29th of november 2009.

i was the bride'smaid!
i super love the dress.too bad it was a rental :(

and then things got haywired.

no school,boyfriend busy,things got messed up.

we did talk in someways but things got worse then better and then worse again.

till Xinyi's 21st chalet on the 6th Feb 2010.

things were AWESOME!!

i had the best night with him.

i couldn't ask for more.

it was onlyhim i saw and me he saw.

the couples got busy their own.

and the other 2 left early.

Xy and her bf knocked out with their friends later that day.

till now the night seemed like it was just yesterday.

he remembers the night clearly as well.
best i ever had.

and im grateful for more to come:D

Lasalle's open house 2010

i can't remeber the date.it was somewhere in feb i think.

Lasalle's rythem ensemble...

fucking fun.

boyfriend played too:D

And then there was Chingay 2010.

im still waiting for Susi to upload pictures.

it was fun.

but the process was tiring ttm.

the late night rehersals and school early in the morning the next day.

but boyfriend gave me support to hang on.

well, that was like cny period,close to the performance.

it was when we got close,like really close again :D

i love my shirt.

its like 3 sgd bucks only.from batam.

it explains the tired faces.

this was show day.

and then late afternoon - night at (certain days) rehersal for 'Now showing'..

another foundation production by the theatre and dance students.
fun fun fun.

more fun when the show ended :P

there were many shots to this group photo.

i guess this is the most perfect one.

variations item by us.

super multi coloured.

nice combination though :D

Sing Sing Sing.

most exposed outfit i had on for any dance piece i've done before.

but wooo.i loved it!

the dance was great too. except if there was lightings....

hours before the show...

I'm a woman scene.
thank god it was over.i had to start the song...

strange pose i had and Anggerek had a snap of it...

backstage dramas:

lovely Serene :D

and with Evelyn..

Anita, Serene and Susi!

they were apparently en pointe to balance their heights and mine except for Susi.

and then the wholegang minus Dex.

love this picture:D

the two xin as "kidnappers"..

trying to nab me. totaly didnt know i was in this shot.

but its classic man.

all the same espressions...

thanks for this shot Anggerek.

one word for this shot, VAIN. and that would be me.

quick change of clothes for rehersal run.
and am always camera ready :D

post production bbqat Robert's..

whats the worst part,finding and getting out of the place.

it was fun and forgive my anyhow dressing and unglammed puffy face.

had bf problems the night before....

[its sorted out now]

and everyone else looked great for a bbq!

damn.

Cards at Robert's nest.

love our espressions.

classic.

looks like i just caught them"breaking the sofa"..

damn,i love my legs.

okay,seriously,i havent been taking alot of pictures.

will try to.

lazy to take pictures uh.

not so in dressing up now :D

im in love with you baby >

in case you were wondering,you're like a hurricane to me.

your violence is beautiful,your center is sweet.

in case you were wondering,you're everything to me.

Love,

Nana

its meant to be.thats why you came back.

2010-03-08T23:50:00.004+08:00

hello :D
sorry i've been sorting out alot of things recently and im glad things got better then it was before.
school's fine.
baby's getting busy.
im getting thinner.
jialat.
im such a mess now.
hate the length of my hair :(
i hve nth to blog about man.
school's school.
project week "supposed to be holidays" also back to school. no difference!
kay im gg to bed.just wanted to let you know im allright.

dear baby;
i guess i dont have the courage to tell you how happy i am now that im back in ur arms.
yes im annoying you.i guess you're used to :P
those early morning texts really gave me alot of strength to stand up and be strong for you.
im really moved by everything you've started to realise and i know how much i mean to you now.
know, i cherish these very moments when im with you and all this affection you've been showing me really touched me deep inside.
i suppose you do believe and do know exactly how much you mean to me from the start.
baby, we're meant to be.
i know you see that now.
im in love with you idiot!

love,
Nana

all because you complete me...

2010-02-24T23:41:00.002+08:00

hello.
i've been ignoring this space for the longest time.
and no,i have not killed myself in anyways.
i've been busy to even come online.
things had been going well for baby and me..
well, technically he've always been my baby and still is.
and technically,back tgt.
had been flying on cloud nine since xy's party.
well,despite the fact that some idiots trys so hard to ruin alot of things.
im glad baby trusts me.
and yes,we both could feel and we both know we were fated to meet and to be tgt.
i feel the love he gives me now.
i only kesian dia for all the gigs and jamming sessions he had to go thru these days.
all i need to know and i do know,and so does he,is that he lovesme. so do i =D

i wna sleep and need to sleep alrdy.
im falling sick.
NOT good!
show's on friday!!!
eeyer!
okayyy...need water and need topractise the fucking line.

im in love with baby!
whats new.hahaha.
byeee!

love,
Nana

i guess things are going well...

2010-02-12T23:43:00.002+08:00

baby,
you know,i'm really glad you would sit down and talk about us that night.
im really happy you came.
i really understand the situation you're in finally.
and im really glad you'd talk about it.
the msg you sent me once you got home really moved me in someways.
knowing you're so damn tired but still willing to type a long text is really smthng really special.
and that chemistry and bond there is btwn us.
i feel it getting stronger.our love havent stopped growing.
i know you're aware of that.
idk what people had been bitching about me going crazy and whatever fuck there is about me and you. but whatever it is,you know it isnt me.
im sorry i've been really paranoid.
just because i didnt understand.
i hope time will really get me back into ur arms,cus i know i still somehow belong there.
enuf said.
its still you.
its meant to be....
i believe. so should u baby.
i'll be waiting and you know that i will.
you light up my life.
you're NEVER just a part of my life.
you are my life.
and i love you more than words could say.
imy....

love always,
Nana

2010-02-05T22:21:00.002+08:00

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,in my heart
In my soul
You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you
And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

you know,i don't wna be friends...

2010-02-03T21:29:00.002+08:00

i never knew what to say anymore.
i never knew how to speak anymore.

Dear baby,
my blog's probably dead and there's more or less a high chance you're not viewing it.
you've been online alot recently cus your computer's fixed.
but i never knew how to talk or start a conversation anymore.
idk how or why.
there seemed to be so much i wna tell you.but seems i cant.
im not running away.
im not avoiding.
it had really been a hard few months without you.
i know what you're feeling about us.
i know you want the best for me and that you love methat much to care so fucking much.
but baby,have it ever occur to you that by doing this instead,im not any happier? by doing this instead,im suffering in slience?
its not only me who could tell you care this much you know baby.
you know, even you told Wayne you'll be gg to XY's party with me.
and you had to add "see if im doing anything or not that day lah"
you know, i really really hope with all my heart that you'll come along with me.
its fairly not cus of lust.
i just wna spend a night with you.
i really hope you'll be there with me.

fate?or just concidence?
first time its a passy by,
second,its concidence,
third, its fate.
you're always at an angle where both me and you could see each other clearly.
we're mostly always digonally opposite each other in class.
its hard for me to look away or even pretend you're not looking. cus god damn you are.
but you know,thats when im really glad, though im not right beside you or smthng,but there'll still be that smile on my face whenever its you i see.

baby, i dont wish to continue this pretence.
none of my smiles is me smiling from my heart alrdy.
exceptfor the days where i actually speak to you face to face.
i see the times you always play with the pendant.
and looking at it like it was something special.
as much as i hope,i sure hope it is still something special.
cus it is to me.its not only special.its precious.

i miss how much you always disturb me.
i miss how much i always pick up stupid fights with you.
i miss the long conversations you'llmake with me online.
i miss how you'll say you'lltalk to me when its halftime whenever there was a man u match.
i miss how we'll walk hand in hand in the dark park knowing im afraid to be walking alone.
i miss how you'llalways give me a kiss before we part (which you still do... and then you had to spoil everything by telling me you didnt know why you did it and that you're sorry you did.which i know you obviously do know why you did that.)
i miss how you always complain about the long journeys to and fro from tampines to cck but still insist on sending me home.
i miss giving you stupidly early morning calls and ur lazy voice in the morning.
i miss your hugs and kisses.
i miss everything about you.

i wish you were here.
idk what else i could say.
yes,i am always here.
and yes im hoping and am waiting.
cus right now, all i know is that i know you and that it is you.
i love you baby dear.
you know that right?
im excited and am looking forward to saturday with you.
i hope you wont play me out.
cus i'vealrdy told XY you're coming :)

love,
Nana

i miss you morethen the air that i breathe;i need you with me,im not gna lie.

2010-01-30T02:06:00.004+08:00

yes baby, then why? i finally found the reason i changed. forgive me i did.im me now. and being me,still wnabe with you.its only when you're ard that i feel complete.and i feel nth but love from you.i know you feel the same too.

Dear baby;
idk why im still blogging.
i should just let this blog die.
but,my affections and wishes have not died.
so neither will this blog be dead.
there's nothing i could say to you,nothing i could ever do to make you see what you mean to me.
honestly,you're the onething i got right this time.
so it seems, i guess by ignoring you is the only way to make you talk to me.
its strange how i cant seem to take my eyes off you and am trying my best to ignore you.
but when i really did ignore you, i still see you looking at me from the corners of my eye.and you're always in a position that you could see me most clearly.be it at 15 minutes smoking corner,grass patch or class.
you know,i really thought you didnt want this anymore like you said you dont.
but however it may seem, the pendant, you're wearing with my name on, is still on ur chain.
thats when i truely know you didnt wna let me go.its just not the time.
look baby,i know you;re still young and you wna play.i understand.
but by constantly asking me to find another isnt giving me signs thats you really want me to let go and move on.by telling me that guys are contacting me blah blah blah.. and that you SHOULD be happy for me is obviously and honestly telling me you are NOT happy.why would you keep asking me all this when it actually hurts you somehow? when you actually arnt any happier?
you may act tough and all but baby,dont you know,its onlya 3 minutes thing?you're not a good liar. and believe it or not,i do know you well enuf.
you wouldnt come all the way down to school when you didnt attend classes in the morning and arrive when classes are done.but because you called and i still had a class that day.you were home.you didnt have to come down. and even when you did,you weren't practising in school. so if you would to say that coming to school to practise is ultimate bullshit.
you wouldnt look for excuses to disturb me or to get me to sit beside you.
you wouldnt lay on my lap for fun.
you wouldnt look ur fingers between mine randomly.and its obvious telling me my nail colour's dropping was an excuse. you didnt have to lock fingers and hold my hand to tell me that you know.
and by apologising to me telling me you didnt know why you kissed me that night before we went seperate ways is also bullshit.
i just waited for you to pack ur stuffs and i said bye.you leaned over to kiss me on the lips before you said bye.
what was that kiss all about?
you tell me you dint know why you did that.
you weren't drunk b.
i can tell you the reason why you did that.
you still feel smthng. whatever crap you have been saying is all not what you aree feeling. what you did was what you really felt still for me.
cus you always do that.but dont come and fool me telling me it became a habit. cus its not.
i felt a tinggle when you kissed me that night. i felt smthng special.
and you wouldnt wait for 3 days later to apologise to me for that.
you wouldnt be noticing what i've been wearing or how i look in school if you werent interested anylonger.
and by taking intiatives to talk to me again?
caring and showing concern by asking me not to do this andthat indirectly telling me to takecare? disturbiing me like you used to? its definately not cus you wnaknow if imin school or not that you'll talk or call me.
simple talk leads into deep meanings baby.
somehow,i could read you. i understand what you're thinking about. iknow.
you also wouldnt keep pressing hints like "if you want me to comeback to you sing this blah blah blah for me". i didnt mention anything about this anymore when imtalking to you.but you keep doing it.
i feel a feeling so strong,i melt.
i felt a passion so bright,but i wasnt blind.
stop pls baby. stop telling me stuffs you dont feel. its obvious you feel more then just love.
i believe in you.i love you more then anything right now.
say im stupid but you know i'llbe here.
you know that. dont ask me to stop waiting when i know you want me to.
i'll be there for you.this 5 words i swear to you.
i'll continue waiting. and trying and doing all that i can.
anything you get back into those arms of yours.
i told you i'll nvr take the pendant out. and you didnt either.
i'll be strong.i'llwait.but just so you know, i am who i am now.
there's no use lying. i pray and wish upon the stars and moon for you to come back.

love always
Nana

2010-01-24T21:03:00.002+08:00

It's only now that I realize how deeply I love you
No matter where, our memories exist (in every place)
Already, everything doesn't matter anymore;
all the past times I've been hurt
I miss you, miss the past
Nobody can replace you
Once again, in sweetness and hardship;
I'm willing to go through it with you
Baby, say that I love you and i really meant that i love you
It turns out that I still love you so much
Without you, there is no me
I love you so much
So much more than I love anyone else
I love you so much
I want to give you happiness
Be in love again... with you
Do you understand?
Do you understand my heart?
I only want to be with you;
life only has meaning when I'm with you
Come wind come rain it also means something like "come what may"
I'm not escaping love's destiny
You were once my past... i believe you're my future as well.
No matter where I go in future
Always you, forever you
We're gonna let love continue
My heart's not gonna change again
You bring me happiness
There will never be anyone else
It turns out that I still love you so much
Not gonna repress the real me
I love you so much
Passing through the interwinding time and space
Because I love you so much
Not gonna let you be alone again
i wna Be in love again... with you
do you understand?
understand my heart now that i've said this?
i really hope you do.
cus im not letting you go.
our love will never die.

and i hurt myself by hurting you....

2010-01-24T20:03:00.004+08:00

mood= up and down.
i swear im gna get blind soon.
all these tears just seem to come at night.
it fucking suck big time.
idk why but its you who keep appearing in my dreams,and its you i keep seeing in my future.

loreal'smaking faces yesterday at wisma atria.
cool shit.
the makeup artist who did make up for me was a guy.
he's eyes are covered in eyeliner.
omg.but his skills are damn good.
he actually teached me the way to apply for the look.
so i sort of have a new look as a ultimate makeover for me.
ohh btw,he's the first person who says my eyes are big.and my lashes are long.
happy much?:P

packing my room since i woke up.
:/
i hate messing my room and needing to clear the mess after.but ahh fuck.
it all comes down to one habit of mine.
habits,im changing.
habits,its my habits ist it?
yes and my habits made you feel im stubborn.
im gna keep my promise.i swear.
yes,you've heard me say i'mchanging and that i really love you ladalada for the longest time.
i never did keep that promise.but b,i kept my promise to love you a lifetime.
my lifetime's not up yet.but im still loving you.
baby,i need you to trust me like i trust you to believe in what i say now.
i'vemade you a promise and imgna prove it to you m not the naive girl anymore.
i am Nana now.im who i amnot who i wna be anymore.
and cus you love mefor who i am, not who i wna be.
idk what the future holds for us both baby.
but seeing and hearing that you believe if we're meant to be we will be.
if we fall inlove again,we will.
seems you dont want anyone right now.
and you're not ready for a commitment.
i did tell you i'll wait,
i'll keep trying.
i'll do whatever it takes to keep us tgt.
not now baby.
i'll give you time.i'llwait.
idk what the future holds for us.but im certain you're in my future.
for the last time,please stop listening to what people think or feel abt us.
what matters isnt them,its us.
im the one in the relationship with you.not them.
get that into your head please?
im not gna tell ortalk to you anything about this anymore.
imgna wait for you instead.
i sure hopetimewill tell.
and timewilldetermine our fate.
i met you for a reason.
you got tgt with me for a reason.
you love me once.you will again.
i never wanted to hurt you and you know that.
you think i dont even mean a single word i say?
but its only words,and words are all i have to take your heart away.
yes,im following my heart and im truely understanding you alot more now.
i believe in us and i believe what im doing is what'sright and what happiness is about.
we'reon the midst of a rocky road now.and i dont want you to hate me.
if keeping quiet and loving you and waiting is what will bring you back,i'lldo just that.
i love you baby.
i do know and feel you do too.
words cnt espress myself and neither could i convince you.
all i could do is to prove it to you.
i am absorbing eveything you said.
i've been dressing nicely to school.and always the same boring style.
the only reason isnt to attract you or anyone.its beacuse a girl never forgets what he boyfriend says. and what you said was to melawa for you at least.not to others.
im changing my princess ways.
gimme a lil more time to prove.
i'llmake you see i've changed.
will you accept my apology if i said i was sorry?
yet again.i am true to you.you need to know that.
and im gna prove it.

Really a bit helpess,
I'm flirtatious only because of love
Sitting here, foolishly stewing
I still rely on your very pure love
my heart is still here,
the person who loves you is still here
Waiting painfully,
want to cry but couldn't cry
I never meant to hurt you,
you know,you should understand,and you do understand.
Too much room for love,
would get us easily hurt
Trusting and loving each other should be the only way
what I give to you, keep in your heart
I ultimately value so much, how could I forget?
Feel so sorry
Baby I'm so sorry
I never meant
I never meant to hurt you
I guess you should understand.
feel so lonely
Baby I'm so lonely
Do you know
I need you to come back
Are you alright
Please come back to my life.
My true heart still stays,it haven't separated from you
This life,my only wish is to love you
be With you forever, only waiting for you
love is innocent, love is limitless,
If I don't care for much then why do I suffer so tremedously
I am really too stupid, not understanding the hurt

i love you baby dearest!
i know you i do and you do too.
stop running away.
i miss you so fucking much!

love,
Nana

falling apart,falling deeper,still falling for you....

2010-01-22T23:38:00.003+08:00

dear baby;
its been so long since i last got to stand up and take the courage to talk to you face to face.
i seriously hate the fact that we're avoiding and ignoring each other when we see each other.
but im glad we still have some form of communication.
i really thought you'd be happier w/o,but its not from what i see.you're not.and from things you said,i could tell somehow,you still care.and i know,you're not happier this way either.
you've been seriously quiet and it pains me to see this side of you.
i had been really paranoid.but my day's always brightens when i see you in school.
look b, i really don't know why.or how this works.
i've never felt anything this strong before.
i never missed someone as bad as i miss you.
idk why i get so worried and its part of the reason why i always ask if you've eaten.
i thought the dreams and thoughts of you would stop when you stopped texting or talking to me.
but it didn't.i think of you still.
i liked myself better when im with you.
i didn't have to fear and even if i had a fear,i'd know you'll overcome it with me.
maybe to a guy things are different.the thing that gave me the courage to hang on and not let go was the couple pendant. honestly,i know you know that it meant something to the both of us thats why you're still wearing it.
i still believe in us baby.i really do.cus somehow something deep inside you believes it too.
i really hope you won't walk away and run away fromwhat you really feel.
yes,i want you bad.
yes,i won't deny anything.
i miss everydamnthing about you.
yes,i'llwait,i am and alrdy am waiting.im not a fighter,but i'llfight for what i love.and what i love is YOU.im positive.i won'tgive up.neither will i let go.
i said forever,and you said always.
we both mean alotto each other and we're majorly distracted by this.
im sorry baby.
i love you.i still do.forever and for always.

im sorry if you've been only reading all this on my blog,my mind's in a state of confusion, im falling ill YET AGAIN, i've been thinking and missing the late nights with him.
it sucks big time.his scent just keeps coming into my head. his images and everything.
Nana be strong. and wait.
just because she comes off strong doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying.
and even though she acts like nothing's wrong, maybe she's just really good at lying.

love,
Nana

I HATE THE SLIENCE BETWEEN US.WHAT HAPPENED TO US?WE USED TO BE SO CLOSE.

2010-01-18T22:23:00.002+08:00

i've been really busy last bloody week.
openhus practise,chingay,practise,chingay,OPEN HUS,OPEN HUS/SAMBA PARTY.
cb sia...tired like fuck.

Dear you;
i miss you...
i miss everything about you.
u've changed.
u dont talk to girls randomly no more.
u're not as loud and active like u used to be.
i rarely even hear a real laugh from you anymore.
but i love that cute lil smile you still give when i look u in the eyes.
i feel u're happy with me ard.
and i really don'twna put up this front anymore.
i've never truely laughed or smile since you've been gone.
i'm afraid to say i've changed somehow too.
i pretend to be strong cus you want me to.
but infact baby,im not.
everything changes once i stepped out of the circle of friends.
i'msuper happy when i recieved ur texts these past days.i really am.
i'mafraid b.
imafraid i'llsay things that'll you'll walk away instead.
the truth is,i wna be there...
i dont wna run.i dont wna avoid.i HATE the slience between us.
i seem to have alot i wna say,but idk how or what to say.
its really killing me to hold back my tears everytime.
but i dont wna cry to you.i dont wna be weak.
i wna be strong for you.
im really trying to be...
im running away cus i'd afraid i'm gna hurt you someway.
i miss getting angry with you and then we'll get in to a big fight and then you'll wrap me in ur arms to stop my tears.
i miss everything with you.
i miss you baby..
somuch...
i wna be there like i used to be.
but im in no position anymore and it sucks.
but....
ily.

love,
Nana

Its not a want anymore.its a need.

2010-01-12T00:54:00.004+08:00

awkward.fucked up.
i dont wna run away anymore b.
thing is,im avoiding you.
im afraid.
im scared baby.
i dont wna act anymore.
i dont wna pretend im okay when im really feeling the pain.
i dont wna act.
i can't do this liddat.
i dont wna be strong.
i cant bring myself to be.
its killing me inside.
i dont wna fight these tears.
i dont wna run away from you.
i wna stay.
i dont wna avoid you.
you're my happiness.
imy, i really do.
i wna hug you so bad.
i feel like i have alot to say to you.
i wna sit right next to you.
i wna eat with you.
but,im in no position to do any of that anymore.
im not... anymore...

love,
nana

2010-01-06T21:50:00.004+08:00

idk why i have this feeling.
its getting to me.
its really strong.
its the magic in you baby.
idk what it is.but....

baby, please stay....

no matter how badly my heart yearns for you,

no matter what came in and hurt me,

i still feel you.

you were there to protect me all this while...

after all this time,i've came to realised i didn't say i love you for the sake of keeping you beside me.

i said that i love you cus i really do.

i don't know how to put it in words to make you believe its true and im sincere.

but there's really no reason for me to lie to you baby.

i felt your heartbeat.i felt your love...

i really wished you'll stay...

no matter how the wind howls,i'd still wait.

love,

Nana

IMY

2010-01-06T02:05:00.003+08:00

Boy I never knew I could feel
The way I felt, when I felt the way
You were feeling me baby
I'm so out of control
Every time you look my way
I realize more and more
How much I adore those pretty eyes
Of yours, I'm helpless baby
What I wanna know is
Are you willing to try?
Can you love me for a lifetime
In just one night?
Baby, I know you're the one that I need
There's gotta be more meaning to this
Than what meets the eye

Baby I love you
You know I need you
I gotta have you
Can't be without you

Like an angel of the sky, you came
Clearing up all the clouds, the sadness and the rain
So pure and healing was the love you bring
I knew inside it felt so right
With you it seems I may have found
Some other kind of love
I will love you all my life
Always be by your side
And I will give you all I have
'Cause you gave me peace and joy again
I was scared to let go and trust your love
After what I've been through I have had enough

mother f.i scrapped my kneee!!!
manage to stop the bleeding but the pain kicks in now:(
loving samba!
freaking tired alrdy.
gg to bed.k bye.
blog tmrw instead.

love,
Nana

HAPPY 20TH BABY!!!

2010-01-04T23:33:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY!

hello baby are u reading this?
hahaha.u said wna take pictures to post here :)
happy birthday dear.

spent the whole afternoon shopping for ingredients and to bake cupcakes for baby ytd.

seriously i think no standard.

my cupcakes turned out squarish and oval and out of shape instead of round :(

first tym attepmting to do colooured frostings. woohoo :)

managed to decorate the cupcakes with pink,green and blue :)

but very watery icy.diffcult to write stuff man.

but still no standard uh :(

i totally forgot to take a picture of the cake!

hahahaha...

went down to CCK in the afternoon.

wake dear baby up from his sleep.

so very sorry b.

went to lot one to find food.

totally forgotten today was the first day of school.

jialat.

baby wanted to eat kfc but....... infested by people in school uniforms.

sat under voiddeck instead.

supposedly waiting for crowd to die down,but baby wasn't hungry anymore.

trainned to bugis to simlim square to get a present for baby.

yes i also realised i didnt buy something that he can keep instead i only made him fatter by giving him those sweet treats.

managed to find a hot pink "fake ipod nano" [according to baby] and i bought for him.

well,it kinda sort of functions like an apple ipod only alotcheaper.

went to bras besah to find ben.

nvr been in ben's dad's shop before. its rather yamaha-ish.

sat looking at baby and ben play :D
went over to pennisular to find wayne.

he was busy.

left to marina food loft to eat.

when ben and baby gets tgt,listening to their convesations is freaking funny.

baby left ard 815.

i was with ben till 1045.

girl problems even i couldn't help.

Baby decided to take pictures last minute.

i totally forgot every damn thing.

even the most basic,photos!damn.

i dunnoe wtf im doing when im with baby.

my mind goes blank and the only thing i know and see is him.

nvr thought i'd miss you this much b.
i really miss you.
i miss being in that warm hands of yours.
i'm elated that i could still snuggle in :)

the lighter baby bought was super cute!

so mini :)
me likey.very cute.

baby,thank you for dragging urself to go out with me.

though u went back late last night and u were tired.
well,i couldn't let u celebrate ur birthday with ur bed.
so sorry i dont know where to go or what to do.
where do girlfriends usually bring their boyfriends on their birthday?
i have no idea cus honestly,u're the only boyfriend i'd use my heart to do stuffs.
you're the only one i celebrated birthday with.i nvr did that before and i love it :)
i wished the time wouldn't run that fast.
i wished i had more timee with you.
though i'll see u everyday,i can't get enough of you!
pls dontthink of birthday as a bad thing.
well,at least i'm gna be there every year you get older.
this i promise you,i will be there.
ican'twait for our next date anyday this week!!!!!!!!!!
lemme know again!!
I SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU STUPID MATREP!
hope u had somewhat of fun today baby!
many many kisses and hugs to you idiot!
oh and i cnt believe you'veliveon this planet for 20 years alrdy!

many loves,
NANA

2010-01-03T00:26:00.002+08:00

2009 had been a rough year.
first thing for sure i know,i've grown.
hmm,length wise yes,width wise,no,instead,strunk.
good or bad,u decide.cus for one i know,i loss it healthy at first but not recently.
many things happened in 2009.
good and bad.mostly bad in the start i wouldn't deny.
but things changed for the better.
but mostly bad i'd still say.
well,bad cus i've became naughtier.not sexually.i meant.
got in trouble with the law,mom and dad found out i smoked.
which after made me much more rebellious.
i got into LASALLE.
i got merit for intermediate!
well,the best part is,i fell in love again.
i nvr thought i would but i did.
and something about him made me fly.
something about him made me fall deeper then i thought.
somehow im certain he's the one.
well,im still believing though.

2009,byebye.
love new year's day alrdy :)
hopefully my dreams will come true.

anyway,here's a video of bloco @ celebrating 2010 at marina:)

i'm happier when im with you...

2010-01-02T02:23:00.003+08:00

one month to 2 days to baby's birthday....
one month to 2 days changed everything.
im sorry to say i still felt a connection.
im sorry to say that i haven't gave up.
im sorry to say im certain because i believe.
u do too.
and i do stuffs sincerly.
for the million and one time,im not her.
despite the fact that i want you back badly,i dont do stuffs that most girl would.
using the opportunity to get u back is not sincere.
and i've never thought of that.
been saving for 2 months to bring you out.
and even if now, we're still tgt,i'll do exactly the same thing.
im serious about us.
and yes im stubborn.
but fuckit.
im more then sure that i liked myself better when im with you.
i still believe in u baby.
i still do.
i know u believe in us too.but tym's just playing with us.
im not on a thread now.

one thing's for sure,i wont give up.

love,
nana

2010-01-01T18:18:00.002+08:00

hello earthlings!!
HAPPY 2010!!

yes happy is a right word to describe now.
last minute free tickets to marina floating platform!
managed to grab Serena,Sabri and Serena's cousin and her bf.
seeing the stage and bands, its seriously a disappointment.
well, that is i wouldn't pay 30 bucks to the show.
but i wouldnt deny that the fireworks were so damn beautiful!!!!!!!
saw the bloco boys and syed too!
ohh and the person i wanted to see most too.
okay,blame my eyes for being so sharp.
out of that amount of people flooding the platform,i still sawhim.
the least i expected was that he was the one calling me to join him instead.
Serena saw magic.so did i.
i felt butterflies again...
you know,what made me happy was when he said he was gg off and turned back to say bye to me again.
boat quay with Serena,Sab and her friends after.
waited for a fuckin' cab for a fuckin' hour before we managed to get one!
home at 5.
slept while charging my fone.
and damn,i missed a call from him at 830.

i had fun.
and im over the moon more or less moving around not exactlydancing with him.
it felt like the story was about to begin again.
sorry i was shy.
i didntknow what to do.
but im happy u called again.
im happy u were there.
maybe i nvr said this again but,
baby,i still love you.
yes.im still waiting for you.

thanksfor the night B,Serena,Sab,Cherylene,C's bf :)
thanks for the start of 2010.
love,
Nana

2009-12-30T02:40:00.002+08:00

WHAT IF OUR BELIEFS WERE NOT WHAT DIVIDED US BUT IT WAS WHAT BROUGHT US TOGETHER?

im still holding on.
im not giving up.
still i wna say this...
i love you with all my heart and soul baby.

love,
Nana

2009-12-27T21:41:00.003+08:00

NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I MAY GET HURT BECAUSE OF YOU,I WON'T LEAVE YOU.BECAUSE EVEN IF I HAD A HUNDRED REASONS TO LEAVE YOU,I'LL LOOK FOR THE ONE REASON TO FIGHT FOR YOU.

2009-12-27T17:26:00.001+08:00

I REALLY WANNA BE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
I FUCKING MISS YOU STUPID MATREP.

LOVE,
NANA

i think a coma would feel alot better then this

2009-12-26T23:00:00.002+08:00

its sad we don't talk anymore.
its disappointing my fone nvr rings anymore.
i wna talk to u so bad but i cnt seem to find the reason or excuse to.
imy baby.
you mean alot to me.and.... i know what you've been thinking of b.

life is so unfair.
all i know now is that i want you in mine.
i really dont care abt anything else.
for once,i wna be selfish for me.

i love you b.

love,
Nana

all i want for christmas is you...

2009-12-25T21:47:00.002+08:00

hello people..

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

i so have nth else to say.
bye.

love,
Nana

i maybe broken,but im not defeated.

2009-12-21T23:11:00.004+08:00

The 1 that got away, so cliche, yet so annoyingly true.

It took 1 song to remind me of the fact that its human nature to obsess over what we couldn’t have, whats worse, someone we had but lost.

That person who was once such a huge part of your life (perhaps your entire life even), someone you shared time and more with, who managed to carve an impression deep enough into your heart, and mind, forming some kind of undeletable memory that eventually manages to get thrown to trash, but never erased entirely from the system.
The steps taken to forget ironically reinforces the memory.

All that time, effort and promiscuity merely reinforces the importance of that particular you. The sacrifices made, the life wasted, the tears shed and the breath shortiened.

The refusal to admit ones self naiviety of trusting empty promises and scripted sweet nothings. The lack of closure, which was merely another excuse to not let go of whats snatched away.

Too know that the 1 person who was your only salvation would end up being the same to stand by and just watch you fall, and eventually, turn away when you crash.

i might have fallen.
i might have been in love before,but not this strong.
i want to stand up knowing you're still watching.
i want to stand up and learn how to run,so i can run back into ur arms baby.
i maybe broken now,but im not defeated.
after all you've said and done,after all i've said and done,its not suppose to blow this way.
the many nights you've sacrificed?
the many moments you and i both love.
you didn't write the start of my life story,but i know you'll write the ending.
you only wrote 3 months of our love and you stopped halfway thru the book.
baby,my life isn't completed yet.
i thought it was when u first pen everythingin my book,but i realised you don't wantto be the one who writes the middle,you'll write my ending.
yes,i still believe.yes,i believe in foerver after.yes i believe nothing but love lasts forever.
yes i believe in fate.yes i believe we are meant to be.and yes i believe in destiny.but more importantly,i believe in you and me.

love,
Nana
"and WE lived happiler ever after"

i'll do anything to get your love back into my hands...

2009-12-21T16:55:00.004+08:00

I’ve got no one, no one to turn to anymore.

I am left with nothing….

Why is everyone leaving me aside?

Everything is so meaningless. I am so tired . Really.
Everytime i picked up my phone wanting to tell you something.

I hesitate, because i don't know what to say .

i don't know how to start.

It's hurting me more knowing you care so much.

its hurting me alot more knowing you do love me that much to understand and want only the best for me.

i still believe there's a reason why i met you that day at that place.
i still believe there's a reason why i still love you and agreed to do so the very first day we met.

i miss you a lot. And I'm so sorry if you're mad or disappointed at/in me.
All I want you to know is I love you and I really freaking hope that you won't give up on me.
I know sometimes I just seem that I don't care but I actually do and I always will.
I don't want to see you walk away just like that.I don't want to lose you.
You're everything I've imagined of,Baby.
You were there whenever I needed you.You made me smile again.You made me laugh again.
You make me realise that my life isn't just about me.You've taught me a lot.Now I just wished you're here with me so I could tell you how much I love you.
Telling and showing you that I love you isn't just enough to show you how I really feel.
What we're facing now is just a phase which everyone goes/gone through in relationships.

I'm typing this with just you on my mind.Whatever happens sayang,I won't let this go.
I don't know luh,I am just typing everything that's in my heart.i promise you i'll be strong.

sorry i've been sounding so emo these days.
my heart'sjust not here.
my mind's not in the right state.
and im trying hard to eat well. at least not only 3 nuggets in a whole fucking day.
been able to force myself to sleep and to wake up though.
baby,its hard for me.but gimme tym.
till i'm ready,i'll be able to love you right.
cus after you left me,i truely understand you enuf to love you.
i guess i'm just doing it all wrongly.

love,
Nana
I'm really sorry,Baby. Sorry for that fact that I'm the worst gf anyone can ever have.

the one you left behind

2009-12-21T14:24:00.002+08:00

Dear Baby;
the one you left behind still has words and promises she haven't made.
so do you.
you love me stillthats why you insisted in this.
you want the best for me,i know.
so do i.thats why im trying to be the best for you.
but it hurts me knowing you rather give up.
stop lying to urself and i'llpromise i'll be the one.
i'll take care of myself so im strong and healthy to support u.
i'll be strong for u.
you know i will.
you still believe in me.i can see that.
i still feel u behind those lies.

love,
Nana

Calling out your name
Your face is everywhere
I'm reaching out to you
To find that you're not there
I wake up every night
To see the state I'm in
It's like an endless fight
I never seem to win
I can't go on as long as I believe
Can't let go when I keep wondering

you are my world my heart my soul

2009-12-18T22:06:00.003+08:00

my hands are aching.
playing with bloco is super fun.
and yes.alot of concentration is needed.
i wna play again.
samba is really hard but its really fun!
fuckit.
i won't be in town next weekwhich means....no practise!
shootme.
im playing for news year.
damnit.
i want to play!
i cruzily hopes syed will arrange tym for me!!!

Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
imy.i know u do.
ilu b.

love,
Nana

i'm slowly dying....

2009-12-18T01:31:00.002+08:00

say i'm stupid.
say i'm crazy.
say i'm out of my mind.
i don't care.
checking my phone for your name evey single moment and knowing its somebody else everytimemy phone rings is really losing me.
but,recieving your text today really made my day happier.

baby,if you're even reading my blog,i'm telling you now.
you never gave up chasing me.
you tried many ways but i rejected you.
but you never gave up.
your every actions touched me so much more.
we've came this far tgt hand in hand.
my mood is failing my health terribly.
i've lost my smile.
say i'm stubborn for all i care,
i'm not giving up.
i'm not gna believe in others.
i really hope you won't listen andget distracted by what others says or feel.
like what u said from the start of the r/s.
i really hope you still believe.
believe in me that i'll always be there.
i'llgive you anything and everything that i could ever give.
through weakness and strength,
happiness and sorrows,
i will love you with every beat of my heart.

i'm not rich.and money is not what i hope will come btwn us.
u believed me me before,why can't you now?
i've realised i cannot live without you.
its really a hard tym for me.
i'm really lost.
i'm doing the best i can b.
and you are worthy of me.
i'm always afraid i can't be the girl u dreamed of thats why i'm doing the best i can to be perfect for you.
i am praying and waiting everyday for you to come back.
i really am.

my day and night sees you.
my heart loves you.
my mind misses you.
i want you.
i still want you.
baby, i'm sorry.

2009-12-17T01:17:00.002+08:00

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go You know I won't give in
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
So far awayI wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly

don't sing this.read this.you'll know how i feel and really mean.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do,
I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me

you are still clearly intact in myhead and in myheart

2009-12-16T20:43:00.005+08:00

mymood have been really low these days.

seriously low.

nothing is actually helping me feel any better.

reading the past convos on msn that i saved with you,reading each and every text u sent me everynight before i sleep, and looking at pictures we've taken isn't bringing me anywhere.

its exactly a week since u left.and its exactly a week my tears continue to flow.

i think of u the moment i wake up and in everything that i do or wherever i go.

whatever it is,i just can't seem to stop thinking about you.

i'm terribly lost baby.

i dont have the mood to do alot of things now.

i don't even have the mood to eat.

my appetite actually strunk before this happened.but baby,it got worse.

i'm getting cuts from the slightlest thing that could hurt me.

my mind's unconcious.

my mind's wandering.

my mood's been worse then pms.

i don't wna talk.

i don't wna eat.

nth could distract me.except for you.

im sorry im bad at this.

i think i've been hurt enuf to stay single for that long.

till u came along.

im not the typical ahlians who has many past relationships b.

i'm devoted to one.

and the one is you.

you healed my wound.

you are my strength.

i can't stay any stronger.

i want to be the best for you.

i don'twna be a burden to you.

i don'twna be a stress you'll get.

baby,i trust you.

i don't wna let u see me cry again.

i don't wna be this weak.

but uknow baby.its really hard for me.

i tryto be strong.but i only get weaker.

weaker and weaker as the day goes by.

i don'tneed to know if what u're showing me was love because it is.

i don't need to know if u didn't tell me you love me.cus i know you do.

i did everything for attention.

i know u know.

the truth is,

i miss you.

i miss you in my life.

i miss you texting me no matter how tired you were.

i miss you voice.

i miss your calls just wanting to make sure i'm fine or even cus u miss my voice.

i miss everything else about you.

yes i'mnot letting go.

yes.say im stupid say im stubborn but this tym,i'm really sure.

i'mnot givng anything up.

with you i never wonder-will you be there for me.

with you i never wonder-you're the right one for me.

love,

Nana

it sucks big tym...

2009-12-16T01:37:00.002+08:00

love is where everyone tells you that it won't workbetween you two,give you millions of reasons why it wouldn't work but you give them one why you're sure it'll work.

hello sugars.
im currentlyu can say not well or sick.
its a fucking bad thing for me now.
mybody's rejecting food and i almost blacked out just now AGAIN.
mygod.im not aneroxic.idk whats wrong but it could be cus of my mind.
im currently eating half a bowl of rice for 24hours.
somehow,i cnt seem to eat :(
pray that i'll survive cus im trying to eat properly alrdy.
imsuper duper weak now.
and not from the first,everyone who sees me says that im pale. wtf.
i've actually been losing my appetite2 weeks back alrdy.
and im worse now.alot worse since the day he left.
somehow,i live in him.you know.
i'll get sick when i really really miss him.
and no.it isnt always like that.
thistym, its really jialat.seriously.
i can blackout anytym.anytym.
this is seriously not good.
im letting my mind take over.
its reallybad.

there were alot of people in bloco like omg.
the energy is power!
they can seriously continue playing forhalf an hour and its the same beat.
fuck!
im really weak now and it isnt helping.
i hope things gets better on thursday.

mom's been a nag adding stress into my life.
i get scolded for the most random things.
it sucks man.
anyways,with mom and dad,its one ear in one ear out.
i wished i had a older brother and a younger sister.
older one will protect me.
younger one will be the attention.
then i'll be completely free.
F.R.E.E.
not gna work.im fucking 17 alrdy.
really,its not a completely good thing if u're the only child.
seriously.

okay,enuf said im tired.
I love you baby.
gdnight.

love,
nana

Baby,i'm tired of being friends

2009-12-14T23:20:00.004+08:00

just yesterday you said you loved me
that there was nobody else above me
that I was yours and you were mine
that there was no limits to our skies
but then you had put our love on hold
now your telling me to leave
I gotta walk out the door
can't you see that this is killing me,
its hurting my soul,
oh baby how am I supposed to leave you when my heart tells me to keep you
how can you ask me to let you go
Can't you see im slowly dyin'
But Im gonna keep on tryin'
Please don't ask of me to let you go

let me start by telling you
i love you with all my heart
but i can't understand the reason
when you tell me you're leavin
boy me and you were supposed to be
forever and ever now instead of being in love
its like we used to each other how can we do this to each other,
we used to ride for each other
die for each other
cry for each other
now it's like all you wanna do is say bye to each other
i can't let this happen i refuse to lose you
i love you baby
it's the truth
as usual i wanna make you happy
boy it ain't hard to see you mean the world to me
we done been through it all thick and thin
right or wrong
i can't let you go cause this love is too strong

look baby just tell me what you want
look baby just tell me what you need
look baby I know I'm far from perfect
the game and the money, they could take it
it's worthless i know it's hard to deal with my life
i know it's hard to deal with all the gossip
i done seen him with this one, i done seen him with that one
but everything they say is monotonous
can't you hear it in my voice
darling you my heart my soul my love
and i swear to you baby i just wanna give you my heart my soul my love
i know we can work this out
i know we can baby let's try
but the one thing i won't do is let this love die

baby,you know,i'll nvr give u up.
cus u didnt gave me up.
you did all that u could to get me into ur life.
imnot giving you up just because of smthng that could be solved.
itsnot a problem.its just an issue.
imgiving it time.
imgna distract myself by joining bloco.
i'll keep myself just as busy as you are.
i really wna return to ur arms baby.
u know that.
im believing.
i know what your concerns are.
i'lldo everything.
im not listening to the gossips and remarks anyone else say.
i'm hoping you still believe.
i'mbelieving we'll be tgt again.
likeyou said b,we're husband and wife material. you're still holding on till you had ur fun and then come and marry me.its meant to be.
cus i can honestly tell u this,
i'm lost without you.i have no sense of direction anymore.
i know you well enuf to understand your personality.
i'llgive you time.
you're not happier.i know.
till the day u wna settle down,u'll see that i've always been there.
waiting for you.
because baby, i love you.
im sure u do too and im sure u know it too.

I couldn’t stop the gloom that engulfed me as I realized I didn’t know how long I would have to wait before I saw him again.

love,
Nana

the nights never felt colder than this.since the day i last touched u.

2009-12-13T03:57:00.003+08:00

andwhat i love is you.

stupidmatrep,ur stupid ahlian will be waiting for u.

no matter what happens.and everystep i take,

its still you.

its a love game we played.but baby,im sorry i got sidetracked and now imlost.

im fighting everything i could to find the way back into ur arms.

i love you whole heartedly.

love,

nana.

it is me and you

2009-12-12T01:32:00.004+08:00

dearest Baby;

it looked familiar doesnt it?
everytym i sat on ur lap :D

the guitar however remind me more of u.

i havent give up.give up on what i know im capable of.

there's nothing left to prove cus i know there'sa better version of me for you.

Love,

Nana

2009-12-12T01:20:00.002+08:00

i'vegot a fucking cut!

and it wasbleeding but i somehow didnt feel the pain.

i guess im really happy after ytd.

thanks for the day baby.

having so much said,if i could turn back tym,i'll still choose you.everything happens for a reason and my reason is you.

2009-12-11T22:10:00.005+08:00

hello loves.

i've finally slept well,with a smile on my face though there's still a wound in my heart.

i was really tired sia.

i guess i should have loss quite a few grams?

its harmful but i suppose not only i'll be happy :)

dear baby,

i've never known true love meant this much to me.

i didnt care at all before we got together.

i didnt care about you.

remember the day u slept at the void deck of my place?

i cared for awhile.

then i didnt.but u still love me.

its then i really fell in love with u.

ur little actions may mean nothing to most normal girls but to me, u're more then perfect.

which fool would be so bloody stupid to send me back home and suffering himself?

its you baby.

why would i fall deeper, because i've realised i love you a whole lot more then i expected.

what i needed u gave me.

you think i gave you too much while u gave me none?

im sorry you were wrong.

you gave me more then i ever wanted.

more then what i expected.

its my fault this tym.

u always cared for me.

u were always there to company me.

u were always the one who starts my day.

i've been foolish to use my brains to love someone.

thats why i got cheated.

but this tym,the only reason why im following my heart is because its u who's in my heart.

its u who i nvr wna let go.

the pendant i bought,u're wearing it.

im wearing it.

i'll nvr takeit out.

NEVER.

im not gna find another.

I LOVE YOU MEANS I ACCEPT YOU FOR THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE.

AND THAT I DO NOT WISH TO CHANGE YOU INTO SOMEONE ELSE.

IT MEANS THAT I WILL LOVE YOU AND STANDBY YOU THROUGH THE WORSTS OF TIMES.IT MEANS LOVING YOU WHEN YOU'RE IN A BADMOOD OR TOO TIRED TO DO THE THINGS I WNA DO.IT MEANS LOVING YOU WHEN YOU'RE DOWN,NOT JUST WHEN YOU'RE FUN TO BE WITH.I LOVE YOU MEANS THAT I KNOW YOUR DEEPEST SECRETS AND DO NOT JUDGE YOU FOR THEM.IT MEANS THAT I CARE ENOUGH FOR WHAT WE HAVE AND THAT I LOVE YOU ENOUGH NOT TO LET GO.LOVING YOU MEANS STANDING BY YOU EVEN WHEN YOU'RE RIPPING MY HEART INTO PIECES.

when i found u baby,i found me.

u said me and you were of a husband-wife material.

isnt that exactly what we wish for?

so why are u letting go and giving up when i know the moment u wore the pendant,u were gna stay forever in my life.

maybe u think ur're not good enuf for me,but baby,u were busy.and i wasnt.

but u could have been sleeping at home ytd.but u chose to go out with me.

u chose to have a date with me.

the moment u still hold my hand,

the moment u scribbled on my hand that you love me,

i knew its gna be u.

it'll still be you.

i look fine cus i was gg out with u.

i wanted not u to be sad or angry seeing me in a foul state.

no matter how badly it hurted.

but baby,i broke down.

because i've decided i cannot live without you.

you felt presurised.

i've been thinking and i decided to follow my heart.

i realised i've changed.

im not the Nana i used to be.

i loss confidence in myself.

that was what made me lose you.

u're busy and im not.

we will be tgt when everything is stable.

u're afraid to make me promises because ofme.

because im not myself.

but baby,i nvr broke any promises i made.

i'll use this tym to let this person go.

im bringing that stupid ahlian back.

trust me.have faith in me.

take my hand;we'll make it.i swear.

I LOVE YOU B!

your love always,

Nana.

YOU HEART IS STILL NEXT TO MY HEART.

2009-12-11T01:56:00.004+08:00

ITS 0213HOURS.
HELLO SUGARS!
IM EXTREMELY HAPPY TODAY.
YES,IM GNA BLOG THIS POST IN CAPS.
IM A MILLION TIMES A HAPPY GIRL TODAY.
I'VE FELT BLESSED.BUT NOT LIKE THIS.
I'VE FELT THE HAPPINESS ALL THAT JOY CAN BRING.
I BOUGHT MY LOVE TO THE MOVIES TODAY!
COUPLE'S RETREAT.
FUNNY AND NO MEANING SHOW.LOL.
WENT TO BABY'S HUS TO WAKE HIM UP FOR THE DATE.
GOOD THING I DIDNT SAY MEET HIM SOMEWHERE.
THINK HE'LL SHOW UP AT 3 IF I SAID 1.
HAPPY TO SEE HIS HAPPY LOOK WHEN HE POURED OUT THE CHOCOLATES :D
NVR EXPECTED HIM TO WEAR THE PENDANT I BOUGHT THOUGH.
HIS IMMEDIATE REACTION TO FIXING IT TOHIS NECKLACE IS THE LIL TINGLE I FELT STILL.
IM REALLY HAPPY:D
BUSSED DOWN TO HARBOURFRONT FROM CCK.
"STILL LOVING YOU"?
BABY,WHEN PLAYED THOSE SONGS,I KNEW U DONT WNA GO.
WALKED ARD FINDING FOOD AS MOVIE STARTS @ 7.
WE ENDED UP EATING AT MACDONALDS.HAHA
MY APETITE IS KILLING ME.
BABY HAD MEGA MAC UPSIZED + MY FRIES AND HALF A NUGGET.
I ATE A FEW STRIPS OF FRIES AND 3 NUGGETS.WTF.
I CNT EVEN SWOLLOW 6 NUGGETS!
I WAS FULL AND REALLY FEEL LIKE VOMITING AFTER THE 3 NUGGETS.WTF SIA.
BACK TO VIVO AND UP TO THE CINEMA.
I DIDNT REPLY UR TICKLISH WRITINGS ON MY HAND IN THE CINEMA.
IMA TELL U NOW.
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH TOO!
HOLDING UR HANDS EVEN WHILE WATCHING A SHOW IS HAPPINESS.
HENDERSON WAVES AFTER.
CABBED HOME WHILE B TOOK 188.
I HAD FUN AND I LOVE UR COMPANY BABY.
NTH GOES THIS WELL WITHOUT U.

IM SORRY I'VE BEEN SELFISH.
IM SORRY I DIDNT HEAR OR CARE ABOUT UR FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS.
IM SORRY I CRIED SO BAD IN FRNT OF U.
IDIDNT WNA SHOW U HOW I FELT,HOW MUCH PAIN IM SUFFERING WITHOUT U WITH ME.U THOUGHT I WAS NORMAL.CUS IM OUT WITH U.IPROMISED A DATE.AND ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A HAPPY THING.BUT I COULDNT HELP IT.
I NVR WANTED U TO GO.
HAVE FAITH IN ME PLS BABY.
I'VE NVR FAILED TO KEEP MY PROMISE.
AND THIS I PROMISE YOU.
ITS MEANT TO BE.
YOU AND ME.
I;'LL NEVER TAKE THE PENDANT OUT.
I'LL NVR FIND ANOTHER.
SAY IM STUPID SAY IM STUBBORN.
BUT I'VE USED BRAINS BEFORE AND GUYS STILL CHEAT ON ME.
THIS TYM,IM FOLLOWING MY HEART.
HOW IT BEATS AND TELLING ME YOU ARE THE ONE.
I LOVE HOW U ALWAYS SIT CLOSE TO ME AND HOLD MY HAND,HUG ME.
ILOVE HOW U ALWAYS SMILE AT ME.
ILOVE HOW I CAN BE MYSELF WITH U.
I LOVE HOW U CAN MAKE MAGIC HAPPEN.
I LOVE HOW U'LL NVR FAIL TO KISS ME GOODBYE EVERY TYM WE PARTED.
ILOVE HOW U ALWAYS BURY UR HEAD ON TO MY SHOULDERS.
I LOVE U EACH AND EVERYWAY.
ILOVE U FOR U.

THANK YOU FOR THE DAY DEAREST.
I LOVE YOU BABY.
I'VE NVR BEEN HAPPIER WITHOUT U.
STILL TEXTING ME TELLING ME U'RE HAPPY CUS U'RE EATING CHOCOLATES.
BUT HAPPIER CUS THEY'RE FROM ME :D
I FEEL SO LOVED.
THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY.
IDONT WANT THE NIGHT TO EVER END.

LOVE,
NANA.

2009-12-09T21:34:00.002+08:00

I SWEAR I HATE THIS.
I WANT YOU BACK.
I WNA RUN BACK INTO UR ARMS SO BAD NOW.
every second the tym pass,im missing you more than before.
if i could buy time, i would.
if i had to start all over again,i'll still run to you.
if i had to reversetym, i'll go back to the very start and love you right.
if only i had a chance to stay,im willing to love you the right way.
if only you were right here with me,i'll bury myself into your arms.
every lil thing i do and say, i mean it with my heart.
if i was given a chance to be urs again,im will to exchange everything for it.

i'm waitng for the wind to blow you back to me.

2009-12-09T20:11:00.004+08:00

i never wanted to go.

i've always believe i'll stay.

i've loved you from the start.

and no, you weren't an option neither are u a habit.

you were special.

i nvr believed in love.

but its you. you're like my personal brand of heroin.

im alrdy in too deep.
you didnt hold my hand and walk me down this road for nothing.
you didnt hold my hand and hug me tight after every fight if you didnt care.
you are still the first one i think of every morning.
the last one i'll still kiss goodnight.
you never wanted to go.
cus u care.
you sacrificed so many nights for me.just so you could spend more time with me.
you held me tight and braced everything negative everyone was talking about.
we've came thru thick andthin for what?
to let go?
i dont think so.
u knew what people were talking about.
i thought the very first thing we cleared on was not to listen?
u got afftected in the end.
have you alrdy forgotten all those tyms u send me home?
u'll waste more than an hour of ur tym travelling back home just cus u sent me home.
why did u do that?
u could have gone home and sleep alrdy.
always telling me its allright.when its actually not?
spending a night at my void deck cus u wanted to send me home?
having starved for a day alrdy?
no proper bed and rest place?
why did u even bother in the first place?
i didnt care that tym.
but ur lil actions touched me.
thats when i fell in love with you.
you knew from the start i wasnt just a friend.
if there is one spark of hope in my grasp,i'llhold it tight with both hands.
you're more than what i wanted.
i found happiness in you.
i've never been happier my whole life.
i never wna leave without you.
i never wna be without you.
all this truth's left me empty.
maybe this seem bold,
but im hoping you'll stay for the happy ending.
you alrdy knew, so dont be a fool and go spoil the happy ending.
stay with me to the end.

I LOVE YOU B.

whatever happened to forever and always?

2009-12-09T15:28:00.002+08:00

you were everything in my life.
everything that i had.
everything that i need.
i want to be strong to go on.
but im sorry i can't.
u were my strength.
you lifted me up when i was down.
u wanted my heart.
i gave it to u.
i dont understand b.
did u just waste exactly 3months of ur tym with me?
did u not feel love or love at all?
you think its any good for me?
you think this will even do me good?
im so sorry u're wrong.
u healed my unwanted pain fromthe past.
but why did u stabbed me so deep this time?
you never were just my friend you know that?
lil words and promises you made meant alot to me.
you promised to love me and to takecare of me forever.
where did that go?
you said i promise you and a promise is a promise.
i tried to break my promises.
but all i ever did do was to keep it.
i did it.
i didnt do alot for you baby.
i was there to love you.
all i ever did was to love you.
you think i care about money?
money is just paper.
i told u before.money cannot buy ur heart.
u gave me your heart.
i didnt buy it.i didnt steal it.
i dont wna be an option to you.
i wanted to be the one for you.
okay.ididnt listen to u.
yes.all i ever did was to make sure you were fine.
what if smthng happened to you?
i was worried.
thats all.
i dont buy u gifts often.
treating you food means im buying love?
no.
i do everything for u sincerly.
everything is from my heart.
i hope u do believe that.
and i know u know that.
if u were just flinging,you wouldnt stay with me till now.
you wouldn't care so much when i tell u i was sick and i almost blacked out.
you wouldn't still care or bother to reply my texts when i fought back.
you still love me. i know.
deep inside of you. you love me.
i'm not any happier without you cus you are the key to my happiness.
after all that happened or everything that u did.
i still love you.
i still care for you.
you are all i ever dreamed of.
my every puzzle to my heart.
those love songs you always sing to me.
those words that made up the lyrics meant you and me.
you ask me if i believed nothing but love lasts forever.
yes i believe. but not anymore.
without you, love doesnt exist.
without you,i wouldn't have strength to love.
without you, i'm so lost.
i dont believe you're not in my life anymore.
i cant afford to lose you and u know exactly howmuch u mean to me.
you just needed space right?
i'll give it to you.
why u had t leave me when i needed you the most?
u feel pain?
u feel miserable?
u miss me?
imnot giving up.
neither am i letting go.
how could u stay strong?
i cant.i cant bring myself to stay strong.
i know u're hurting too.
i want you back in my life.
i want you more then anything right now.

i miss you so much.
i love you baby.

lovealways.
Nana

2009-12-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

wished things weren't so crazy.
sorry.
i love u b.

when i text you it means i miss you.when i dont,it means im waiting for you to miss me.

2009-12-06T22:08:00.004+08:00

why am i blogging again?
i'm seriously bored.
i'm not feeling well.
i wna go swimming.
im planning something sweet :D

my appetite has strunk greatly.
my moodswings are crazy.

i need to know what i should get for b.
my brain juice is running dry.
and baby wouldn't tell mewhat he wants.
i know that smthng he wants...but i cant afford one:(

okay bye.
i miss my bf.
I LOVEMY BF!
bye.
goodnight.
finally.

love,
Nana

2009-12-06T21:15:00.003+08:00

am i annoying???
am i being a bad girlfriend?
somebody teach me how to love my man right.
its not what i think is right.
i know its not.
im sorry.

IM SORRY FOR BEING SO EMOTIONAL
IM SORRY FOR BEING SO POSSESIVE
IM SORRY BECAUSE I CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU
IM SORRY FOR THE DAMAGE I MADE
IM SORRY I HURT YOU SO DEEP
IM SORRY FOR GIVING YOU SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
IM SORRY FOR EACH AND EVERY FIGHT
IM SORRY FOR CAUSING YOU PAIN AND AGONY
IM SORRY FOR MY SELFISH LOVE
IM SORRY FOR NOT CARING ENOUGH
IM SORRY FOR MY RESTLESSNESS
IM SORRY I MADE YOU MAD
IM SORRY FOR THINKING OF YOU TOO MUCH
IM SORRY I ALWAYS MISS YOUR GENTLE TOUCH
IM SORRY FOR BEING SO MAD ABOUT YOU
IM SORRY FOR MY EVERY BLUE
IM SORRY IF I’VE BEEN IMMATURE
IM SORRY THAT IT CAN NEVER BE CURED
IM SORRY FOR BEING MYSELF
IM SORRY THAT I HAVE FAILED
IM SORRY AND SORRY AGAIN
IM SORRY OF BEING INSANE
BUT BELIEVE ME THAT I LOVE YOU
OR SHOULD I SAY SORRY FOR THAT TOO?

I LOVE YOU B.

i'm officially missing you.

2009-12-06T19:20:00.004+08:00

hello earthlings.
sorry bout the previous posts.
my baby officially is mia.
i cannot seem to do anything either cus he's not home and his phone's dead.
so i decided to distract myself.
found cute and a lil NC16 stuffs.
but its damn funny.

i would if i could. stupid say no to piracy thing.lol.

i've finally found the solution and dont need to use toa cah soh!

stupid science question.

i'm quite sure the condom is REALLY safe now.

this is sick.

i didnt know there was such a pokemon.
hahahahaha!

SURE! c'mon in!

wtf.

her boobs are seriously big!!!!!!

itdoesnt seem like a boobjob or pushups.
every guy's fantasy right?

752pm.

damn.

where's my baby?
i have no friggin idea.

tym isstill dragging.

its 8.10 pm.

baby's still not responding to me.

i really dont know what to do anymore!

is he really that busy today too?

but he would leave me texts when he's THAT busy!

baby, u're killing me here.

not only im missing you,

i cnt contact u,

and im worried about you.

i've flooded your inbox,definately.

starhub have also.

no use i flood ur inbox more when u dont reply.

idk what else i could do to make sure u're allright.

im clear, u're not home.

when will u be?

when will u respond to me?

when will u finally call?

the thing is, i can't seemto not bother about you idiot.

i can't seem to give up asking if you're fine or not.

I CAN'T SEEM TO FRIGGIN IGNORE YOU!

save me will you?

call me.

and for the sake of me, have the habit to CHARGE YOUR FUCKING PHONE CAN?

I HATE YOUR PHONE!

BUT I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love,

Nana

2009-12-06T17:15:00.002+08:00

b, where are you?
its alrdy been more than a day since i last heard from you.
where are you???
please get back to me asap can?
im really worried.
please.
i just wna make sure u're fine.
tell me u're reallytired and that ur phone died and u didnt charge it and u're sleeping at home.
please.
i need to know u're fine.
please.
respond to my texts.
please.
im reallly worried.
please.

2009-12-06T02:11:00.003+08:00

baby, where are you?
one whole day u've gone missing.
no replies to my texts.
i cnt even get thru ur phone line.
its worrying b.
i really hope u'll get back to me soon.
i suppose you didnt charge your phone again right?
my god.
i miss you so much and i cnt even contact you.
this is bullshit!
its so frustrating!!!!
im running a temperature again :(
and im missing you like crazy!
not even a text today!
its killing me.
where are you syg?
i hope u'll charge ur phone tmrw.
when u get home or smthng.
i so dont wna disturb u as much as i culd but its a tym where i cannot not bother.
i know u've been busy :(
i cnt bring myself to sleep this way.
u'll use someone's phone to text me or call last tym.
i do hope u're sleeping at home and i hate ur fucking phone!
but I LOVE YOU SO!

I WANT MY IZZAT!!!
NOW!!!!!
grrrrrrrrr
Nana

you were in my head but now, you're in my heart.please stay there forever.

2009-12-04T22:43:00.006+08:00

hello earthlings!
im online again.
no. i should say, i'm blogging again.
i'm happy:D

in exactly one month's tym is baby's birthday :D

idk what to buy for him seriously.

kanchiong alrdy.

i know one month but still.....

alot of thing im pending to buy leh..

wl how?

buy clothes susah if baby's not with me.

dunnoe his measurements.

[not his wife.if wife i confident sikit.]

buy other stuffs later become white elephant nvr use.

wa how?

i kanchiong alrdyyy.

one month is long and short to me in different ways.

long cus days pass slow without baby by my side.

and short cus idk what to get baby and im planning the day for him.

somebody help me pleaseeeeeee.

thing is,i dont wna get him smthng typical girlfriends would buy for they boy.

i wna make it special.smthng unique.

not sweet 16,not 18.its 20.

gonna go shopping and thinking.

keep me entertain at least.

i'm seriously lost without baby beside me.

wa. jialat.

baby sleep so early recently.

see he tired till liddat uh...waaa...

im becoming a night owl again.

not good.

baby's getting fatter :D yay!

but he says look who's talking :( no yays.

im gna lose more weight!!!

need school to start badly.

stamina will all disappear by smoking and sleeping this way.

why cnt staminabe built by sleeping?

i'll have the best stamina if that was the case.

oh well.i should sleep now.

thank god no more cramps.

and i've realised i need baby to say gd night at least to me and so i'll sleep well.

i dream of him everynight :D

woohoo!

excuse my highness and craziness.

its 3 am.

okay. bye. im getting bored.

I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!

you know its love when the tiny details of another person,

the ones that seem insignificant to others,

seem incredible and magnificent to you.

who knows where this path may take us,

but lets walk hand in hand and promise not to let go.

cus you mean the world to me. and i'll make sure i make it obvious everyday.

love,

Nana

nothing makes me happier than being in your arms baby...

2009-12-04T01:05:00.005+08:00

hello hello helloooooooooooooooo!!!
I AM SO EFFING HAPPY TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
SO SO SO SO SO SO BLOODY HAPPY!!!!!

Shopping with SERENA darling.
woohoo!!
like finally got to see her!!!
walk @ orchard till sian sia.
orchard is sibei sian now.
fep's stuffs are fucking expensive now...
go shop also no use.wallet get burned instead.
walk here walk there end up @ fep.
walk summore end up @ hereen.
walk again backto lucky plaza.
wa. legs can die. super tired sia.
tdy rain summore. tou jialat.

shisha @ arab street later.
and oh my wish came true!!!
baby's plans got cancelled and he came down to find me:D:D:D
mygod... i seemed to havent seen him in forever.
i miss him so much!!!!!!
and i finallygot to touch him!
okay sound wrong but no i meant touch him.as in real him.
i didnt wna let go when i had the chance to hug him.
i miss the warm arms of his.
i miss his smell.
i miss everything.
so so so much.
he's right there, right in front of me!
i feel so happy.
nth makesme happier then being in his arms.
i finally understood the meaning of ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART FONDER.

okayyy...im heating up again.
im so feverish.
and im super tired.
idk how Serena can still go drinking.mygodd.

goodnight.
help me searh for the moon tonight.
when u find it, lemme know cus i wna jump over it :D
im gg to bed.
byeeeeeee :D
stay happy with me :D

You are the sun that lights up the sky
You've got the smile that makes everything right
You are my star That shines in the night
You are the one in my life!

I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!

love
Nana

you're my sunshine after the rain...

2009-12-02T23:07:00.004+08:00

hello sweeties!
i'm happy today :D
so so happy.
i couldn't sleep well these nights.
in proper terms, i didnt sleep.
my eyes are swollen :(

i was frightened like seriously just now.
i almost blacked out.
i could only see 20% of my surrounding.
everything was super blur.
i couldn't even see the numbers on my phone.
the picture on my phone, i could only see smudgy colours.
idk what happened.its seriously freaky.
i was standing on the bus.
aircon was aboveme.i felt the cold air. it was freezing.
but i was perspiring!
like i've just took a marathorn.that kind of dripping wet sweat.
my head,hands and knees were super weak.
i couldn't move.every step i took was shaky.dizzy.
i couldn't breathe.
i couldn't talk properly.
idk what went wrong.
what made it worse,cramps.
i sat for an hour or so at interchange for mummy to come to my rescue.
baby got worried.
im sorry. i didnt want to worry u but u were the only one i tell everything to.

wna watch couple retreat with baby :D
next week. i hope he can find one day for me :(
im saving money to bring him out :D
he had been busy.
need to release stress.MY way this tym baby.not yours :P
FIND TYM FOR ME!!!
im planning a day alrdy!!
dont care hor. must okay!!!
bought chocolates for you cus idk what i culd buy!!!
i wnabuy smthng u can wear.
smthng u can keep instead of chocolates.
whatever.
i've bought chocolates too :D
happy drug.

okay i just wanna say I MISS YOU FUCKING MUCH BABY!!
and no matter what happens, i'll ALWAYS love you.
i'll ALWAYS be there for you.
muacksx!!!

I LOVE YOU MD. IZZAT!!!

love,
Nana

2009-12-01T23:17:00.002+08:00

i need to talk.
i need you.
im being unreasonable because i care.
because i needed to understand what's gg on in ur life right now.
i wna be understanding.
i dont wna be demanding.
but u'll haveto communicate with me to lemme know the pain u're gg thru.the stress u're facing.
because baby, i'm not there.
i want to be there.
im angry that im not there for u.
what happened to us baby?
it was just one week.
u know how much u mean to me.
u know how much i love you.
u know that.
u know my moodswings.
i was just upset about that promise.
but i dont want things to come to this stage.
i know we both dont want this.
we both want to be in each others arms.
i need to understand whats gg on in ur life first b.
im finding faults at every lil thing cus i want ur attention.
i admit. i want ur attention.
because idk whats causing u the stress,i' somehow stress u too.
im at fault.
im to blame.
itsmiscommunication baby.
andits just because im missing you.

I don't need a lot of things
I can get by with nothing
Of all the blessings life can bring
I've always needed something
But I've got all I want
When it comes to loving you
You're my only reason
You're my only truth
You're the hope that moves me
To courage again
You're the love that rescues me
When the cold winds, rage
And it's so amazing cause that's just how you are
And I can't turn back now cause you've brought me too far
i miss you.
i need to talk to you.
i love you.
im sorry.

i love you.

2009-12-01T03:02:00.004+08:00

i want to mean so much more to you.
i want to be everything for you.
you gave me your heart and i gave mine.
till now i know the reason we're always fighting.
cus of trust.
i dont trust u enuf.
im afraid of losing you.
i almost lost u once.
im not gna let that happen again.
u've got to help me.
i need you.
only you to be by my side.
i make promises to you and i promise i'll keep it.
i hope u'll do so too.
all im asking of you is to love me.
love me with ur whole heart.
knowing i'll be there.
ALWAYS.

I LOVE YOU.
i hope ur love for me would nvr die.

i'll reason out my thoughts and be strong to love you.
to trust you.
to care for you.
gimme tym.
along the way things will get in the way.
but i hope u'll bare with it.
tolerate my nonsense.
and continue to love me.

i'm sorry.
i know u understand cus u know.
ilove you.
i miss you.
goodnight.

love,
Nana

2009-12-01T00:43:00.002+08:00

hello earthlings.
i've been rather restless and shagged since holidays started.
its irritating.
no movements,no friends,no anything.
except my tv, stove and ciggrettes to keep me company.

managed to catch paranormal activity with mom just now.
cus waiting for baby is fucking diffcult.
he's so fucking busy and has obviously no tym for me.
yes, i was supposed to watch it with him but.....

idk if its because im used to seeing baby everyday or smthng.
its killing me.
i really miss him.
its driving me crazy.
seriously.
idk when will i even get to see him.
its been a god damn week alrdy.
i cant even book him :(
im trying to be strong.
but i still feel lost.
i feel empty without him.
:(
just one text a day im alrdy happy to know he still cares.
it really will go crazy.
i am alrdy gg crazy.
plus the severe pms moodswings....
mati sudah.

i love baby...

love,
nana

thank you for the day baby!

2009-11-25T00:00:00.003+08:00

heelo world!
i'm super duper duper happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i miss baby so effin much!
somehow i miss him so much when i actually saw him on saturday already.
like usual two days.
but smthng seemed to be missing.
thank god i managed to go out with baby:D
im so over the moon now!!!
but then mood dropped the moment i lost sight of baby when i went home :(
idk when i'll see baby again.
no school= not gna see baby everyday.
i think i'll die sia during the hols.

cooked tasteless rice for baby.which he somehow finished it.
i know wtf. sorry b.
reli no skill in rice. rice is not my thing.
thank you baby for accompanying me shoe shopping.
i know its fucking boring for a guy to go shopping with his girlfriend.
really appreciate u taking time to do all this with me :D
I LOVE YOU BABY!!
its not enough man!!
tym with u is not enuf.
even though its the whole day sia.
want u to hug me like u did just now more!
better still to sleep everynight.
haha.

im tired alrdy.
goodnight!!!
with all my heart,I LOVE BOYFRIEND!!!!
mwahhhhhhhhh!

love,
Nana

because Nana loves you.

2009-11-24T00:05:00.003+08:00

i'm singing love songs!
hello world!
i've finished the fucking gamelan.
FINALLY!!!!
am talking to my baby now:D
am gg out with him later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woohoo. im fucking high now.

wear what?
i very gan chiong lehh.
i miss baby so much!!!!
wake up earlycook for baby later:D
okay. go sleep now.
go cck later and go buy shoes!!
go watch show.
yes!!
finally!!!
i getto spend real time with baby.

I LOVE IZZAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love,
Nana <3

im the cause of all this troubles and problem. i know. im sorry.

2009-11-23T16:40:00.003+08:00

im so stucked with gamelan.
i didnt watch a damn show for it!
what am i suppose to write?!?!?!
fuck it luh. ima try and crap thru it.

baby's still moody.
hate the after effect.
he has no mood to talk to me.and its wierd.
i hope he recovers faster.
at least he'll be back joking with me instead.
i rather throw lil tempers at him cus he loves to joke with me and then we'll just be fine then he having no mood to tallk to me.

i miss his laughter.
i miss his smile.
seeing him this way i somehow see and know i might be the cause of it.
having me ard is irritating.
i know.
but idk why. i just wna care so much for him.
it irritates.
i just hope baby's not angry.

baby,whatever it is,
i still want u to know that i love u.
i'd do all this because i love you.
i dont wna irritate u any further.
maybe its just me.
i care to the standard i'll ask u over and over again just to make sure u're really allright.
i'm sorry:'(
i dont wna be the cause of ur anger.
imnot supposed to give u more stress.
but i guess i am.
i'm sorry.

I LOVE YOU B.

love,
Nana

because you live boy, in my world.

2009-11-22T23:52:00.003+08:00

hello sugars!

im fucking sick of doing gamelan.
ima copy and paste every damn shit the qns asks for.
past week was a fucking terror!!!
exams sucks. seriously. big tym.

went for final fitting for my bride's maid dress yesterday.
bloody hell! apparently, i had to hold the dress on to me while i walk out of the changing room to show the lady there and my cousin.
5months ago, i went to choose the dress and try.
they actually altered the dress to fit me alrdy. and now, the dress was so sloppy!
the back is actually transparent laced. which had to be fitted to your body to show the design.
it was like a loose halter dress yesterday!
they re-mesured and re-altered.
troublesome much.
it was 2 and a half inches loose.
i totally couldnt let go.if not, freeshow.
hahaha.
i can't wait for saturday!!
i can't wait for the wedding!!!
i have to look for flat shoesfor the wedding. and nice ones.
tell me where can find. suitable for wearing evening gowns liddat one.

baby's sick :'(
i suppose he caught a virus that was spreading amongst the foundation students.
and he was running a temperature.
restless and moody. i know.and i understand.
hopefully he's recovering.
i just saw him yesterday when i went down to cck.
but i miss him alrdy.
yeay!! ima go out with him on tuesday!!! :D
not meeting tmrw, i'll miss him another day more :(
i love him.
i'll do anything for him.im serious.
if he's hungry, i'll cook.
if he's bored, i'll entertain.
if he's lonely,i'll keep him company.
if he's lost, i'll find a way for him.
if he's sad,i'll be there for him.
if he's happy, i'll be too.
if he wants something, i'll try to get it for him.even if its not within my means.
if he'd prefers me dead, i'll shall be.
there's noone else i'd love as much as i love him.
i'll take a 4 hour journey to meet you if there was one.
even if it means to catch a glimpse of u for 5 minutes, i would.
if i ever made u feel that i didn't care, i'm sorry.
but i hope u'll know i care.more than anything else.
if i ever made u feel second best,
boy, im sorry i was blind.
just lemme reasure you, that you can count on me.
that i'll always be around.
because i love you, i'll be right by your side.
to be your light, to be your guide.
because you live and breathe.
because you made me believe in myself when nobody else can help.

baby, you're love has given me wings to fly.
but i don't want to if its without you by my side.
i wanna fly looking in your eyes.
u brought colours to my life.
it will never be as beautiful if you didn't come into my life.
it will never look the same if i was someone else's girl.
i'll never know what true love is.
i've been played. and i know u wont.
even if it sounds silly, i'd wait till the day i'm lawfully yours.
nothing is gna stop this love baby.
u said u won't leave, i hope you'll stay.
u said u love me, i hope you really do.
u said u're gna marry me, i hope it'll come true.
i'd do anything willingly,to put a smile on ur face.
if that was the only thing i could do, i would.

i love you baby dear!

i love you.imy.goodnight.

love,
Nana

over and done with

2009-11-21T00:11:00.002+08:00

YESSSS UH!
finally!
my nightmare is gone!!!
its over!!
now i dont hve to stress for tym and all the nonsence business presentation shit.
cus i know,
business... fail.
history... fail.
gamelan...fail.
cb luh!
fucking arts world's people have fucking diffcult names to remember.
stressed up about business that i didnt touch a single shit on history. and as expected, fail.
gamelan was a fucking terror. thanks to the fucking teacher who is fuckingly unreasonable and totally unfair.
no need further elborate. fail.
thank god for my attendance. hopefully can pass this year.
this sem is a slap across my face sia.
start of school nia and im slacking away.
knn. need to get my results man.
now i have tym for bf.
no. im always with baby.
thank god i've got him to pull me thru my weaknesses and see me thru my strength :D
fuck it.assesment is OVER!

baby's gna get sick :(
now holiday i dunnoe how i could take care of him sia.
i wont possibly see him everyday :(
stupid ben says guys all anyhow one but can take care of himself.
thats exactly the point.
guys anyhow one. thats why we'll worry stupid.
i hope he'll be fine. he was a lil warm just now.
baby seemed to have changed.
changed in status.
from a boyfriend to a husband :D
i feel so loved man!
i feel like his wife now instead of his girlfriend.
im so loving this life of mine now.
im so happy!!!!!!!!!
i love my baby!!!

ima sleep alrdy.
Arif was awesome today :D
Faris wasn't.
but damn funny:D

okayy..
goodnight sweets!!
I LOVE BABY!!!

love,
Nana

2009-11-15T22:47:00.002+08:00

and you think it doesn't hurt me to be calling me by those terms?
like you said we are close friends,shouldn't close friends not use that term more?
what is it you're trying to announce on facebook by calling me a slut?
i may be open and all, but you dont have to say all these too.
it hurts you that i don'tcare?
mygod. you're exams just ended.
but F.Y.I, mine just started.
i dont even have the fucking tym to study.
i'm online cus i'm rushing journals and essays.
the only moment i manage to get away from my work i get comments like that.
maybe youdont feel offended cus you do it all the time.
but hey, im tired okay. and i dont expect to be called all that allright?

embrace the fear....

2009-11-15T22:30:00.002+08:00

wish me luck.

ballet exam's tomorrow.

hope imready.

Congratulations baby for the [idk what]competition today!!

manymanykisses to you!

i have cravings for chocolate cakes.

OMFG.

cannot man.

i lost my butt and no im not gaining it back.

okay okay. enough said.

i need sleep.

i need energyyyyyy.

i need strength.

i need to go to school to wake mylil darling up tmrw.

he'll be staying in school.

:'(

goodnight earthlings!

NANA CINTA IZZAT :D

mwahhhhhh!

love,

Nana

love is you.

2009-11-15T00:06:00.004+08:00

Hello sugars!
i'm back.
i'm super stressed now.
assesment is next week :(
last minute essays not done yet.
bad week.
things happened.

it had been raining like nobody's business these days.
me likey the rain. but its like an awesome weather to sleep so its kinda not helping.
falling asleep in lectures is the worst thing ever.u'll be totally blanked for the certain topic.

did bloody cip today.
just for the hours.
Dex and i actually only take popcorn eat and and talk nia.
nvr really do anything except giving out the feedback form.

the one thing that should reallt come to an end is the quarels with baby.

its giving us both a hard time.

we both knows what we really mean to each other but.. some things just couldn't get out of the way.

and we're affected by the people around us.

things got really bad on monday.

but i'm glad our love was strong enough to stay.
and so it seems,i dont wna let go.

i love him more than anything else.

he's the someone i couldn't bring myself to ignore or get angry with or give up on.
he's not like the rest.i came to realise how specialhe really is.

i realised how much i mean to him also.

i would seriously be lost if i lost him.

and im just so playful :D

only he could stand my nonsence.

i snapped a few pictures on that particular raining day where baby managed to catch 3 hours of sleep when i didnt.

i'm in love with him.

and i dont care what happens.

i'm sorry for whatever that happened recently syg.

im glad things got better cus right now,

everything fall into place better than i expected.

i so needa do my research for the essay.

okay bye.

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!! :D

love,

NANA

2009-11-08T01:01:00.002+08:00

im fucking tired sia these days.
like i've overworked and im so shagged now.
my muscles are aching and killing me.
cannot even get out of bed.

my life's fking boring this week,
only fun with baby ard ;P
only thing is we have to stop arguing.
im disappointed after i heard him say his ex is contacting him and all.
to be honest, i feel super lousy after he says she's the most understanding girl he've met.
and that she wants him back now and all that fuck shit.
i have to learn how to be more understanding and not that demanding.
i know i want to. im trying to. but its like diffcult in a way and its like imso useless.
i swear its hurting me inside. but it seemed he cnt do anything also.
i feel like im not good enough for him and that i want him to know how i feel.
but its kinda useless and all cus its probably my personality.
i know i can nvr be like her.i wont understand to that extend.
i love differently.
im not her.i wont be her.
i dont have tym to spend with him.
he needs his own tym too.and im not giving it to him cus i want tym with him.
its frustrating.
but i do hope he understands what im gg thru and knows that im learning to and trying to understand himand adjust to fit into his arms.
and yes. its irritating and frustrating and annoying for a girl to hear her bf say that girl is hot. i want them for awhile can?
dont you understand how it feels like.
i know i should feel sensetive cus im alrdy urs but the fact that this lowers down a girls mood and will be finding ways and questioning herself like where does she not sastify you? what is it that that girl have and that i dont?
i feel like shit.
if u ever understand how a girl feels. you maybe joking and all but then again. she'll change for u because you mean the world to her. she just wants to be who u want her to be.

you should know better baby.
i believe i'll stay by ur side.

exams are comming and i havent done a single shit.
i only know what nac stands for. knn.
i need to study. tell me how to study leh.
fuck it luh. business. nabei.
i still have master cv to do.
cb.my history of dancing is like 4 long pages alrddy can?!?!?
still need jobs and all.cb.

u know what, im gg to bed.
i shall blog again later.
im aching and super tired.
im so gna sleep in :D

i love baby.
imy alrdy.

love,
Nana

commitment leads to actions, actions brings your dreams closer...

2009-11-01T21:55:00.006+08:00

Hello sugars!
performance project is over..
its partially a good and really bad thing.
its good cus wewouldnt have to continue this crazy rehersals.
its really bad cus i would be short of a class with baby :(

was the Da:ns festival and we had to watch shows in esplanade.
after dance rehersals.
the shows were like 8pm and we were all fucking tired.
i slept thru dunas. seriously, its not that they're not good or boring. they are spectecular!
but i was really tired. i totally K.Oed.
but i stayed awake for Paloma's.
my god! they are supersuper super awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i want their legs man!!

i've over spent this week.
gg for dinners at plces like thai express isnt doing me any justice.
money just waes good buy quick enuf.
buying ciggrettes...er.. dont think i need to say.

speaking about ciggrettes,
my mom actually found out i smoke and blah blah blah long story..
i got scolded early in the morning..
blah blah blah...
now okay alrdy :D

Lost Foundation was a sucess.
but sadly,we only managed to performform for one show.
the sky was being a bitch and it started raining so heavilywhen it was almost performance tym last night.
we were all heavily maked up, everything was ready to go...
but..thank the sky, everything got cancelled.
but.. it was great too!
we had an early post production partaye!
Nicole cabbed to Khairul's with baby and me.
share cab cheaper.
nothing to say...
except, it was boring but totally AWESOME!!
cus baby was there!! and so with me :D
cabbed home at 3 smthng.

wrong shoes,i wore slippers, baby held me tight so i wont fall :D
got bored, baby played with me so i wont be :D
baby had been showering me with alot of love recently.
he'll hold my hand where ever we went.
he'll keep apologising for things that he did wrong.
he'll dedicate a song thru a loud hailer in the middle of the theatre just for me.
he's been doing everything i dont expect from a guy.
he pampers me too much.
I LOVE IZZAT SO MUCH!!!!
i wna marry him!!!

enuf said...
pictures below.
i didnt know Dex took this picture.
anyways.
baby look super cool!

Tett...

The lil school dancers....

And then came Halloween.
the good..

and the evil...

i do look like a vampire....

Da Jie has alot of expressions.

and she was supposed to be the innocent one. lol.

and omg. im glowing..what a effect for my character sia.

the other one who became a vampire after he took the other set of fangs.

the Alfa ah lian, the innocent boy boy and the beta ah lian.

and then there was the Gangsta rapper..

my one and only love <3stretching much.

sorry its kinda zoomed in.so its blurr..

the extra in front is really extra.

mr salesman and Wyane's omg.so bloody act cute.

Halloween was awesome man!

spending tym with baby was even more!!

i cnt wait for the tym to pass!!!

i wna see baby tmrw!

i miss him so much!!

like right after he got me into a cab :(

i wished i had more tym with him.

another fucking 9 hours!

shit!

no mind no mind.

im gna call my baby now!

byee sugars!

my life is wonderful!!!

my like is so fucking beautiful!!

love,

Nana

cus im your lady and u are my man

2009-10-31T00:32:00.003+08:00

hello sugars!
tdy is the bloody lost foundation performance.
and my hair is fucking sprayed with alot alot of hair sprays and after wax.
my eye is still lined with eye linerwhich i had tried my best to remove but failed to do so :(
we all look like live vampires tdy.
pale skin, hollow and defined features.

baby took the shirt he gave me home tdy!
fuck lor.now idk how to sleep alrdy.
im seeing smthng different these days.
i feel and came to realise how much i really mean to him.
its just that this production is really making us all fucking tired.
strange enough, i have the mood to keep cooking for baby these days.
only that fucker bf of mine always meet me later and the food gets really cold.
cb right.knn.
but no matter what he still eats :D

i shall blog again soon.
im so gna K.O alrdy.

i love my baby!!!!!
i miss him alrdy :'(
he pampers me too much.
and i become a baby.
strange how the bond btwn us grows so strong.
i nvr loved someone this much as how i love him.
i get weak in the knees and am always thinking about him.
i love you b!!!

love,
nana

i keep falling deeper and deeper in love with you everyday...

2009-10-26T00:26:00.004+08:00

hello earthlings!
school had been giving me a whiplash.
its killing when u know u have dance classes at 830 in the morning and rehersals till 10 at night.
by the tym i actually get home, its alrdy midnight.
7 hours later i'm back in school.
i know wtf.

i dont even have tym with baby.
which made me such a baby.
im so irritated by myself.
idk what i want from him.
he sacrificed so much for me alrdy and there i am whinning like a baby.
i know he was protecting me.
i'm sorry baby.
you know i love u.
i'm just worried for you.

esplanade on tuesday again.
which means i wun go for rehersals.
which also means i can cook for baby.
and i have tym to get to school to give him food!!!

i havent seen her in quite sometym and its a good thingshe allowed me to cool down.
if i saw her everyday after what i heard,i might just slap her.
u wna play dirty with me?
being a two face give me no reason to leave him.
and for all u actually alrdy know,and were one of the first to know, HE'S MINE.
mess with anything but my love.
he means alot to me.
and i know he'll give in. but i trust him.
and i dont trust u.
u can stop all the "oh sayang"here and there thing with me.
its not gna work.
i shall pretend and thankfully, i do trust my baby.

the president of my fan club is driving me insane.
not only me. i suppose every other dancer is feeling the same way.
she has no fucking manners!
she has absolutely no brains.
by putting words into our mouth doesnt work damnit.
stupid or what?
see ppl do twisting and turning pair work also wna do.
then nvr get choosen to do face so black.
wtf luh eh.
welcome to the cruel world kid.
seriously, u wouldnt look good standing with Serene and all.
and stop looking at me with pity eyes trying to tell me my bf is disturbing u and turning to me for.. er.. "help"?
no use luh fuck.
by now u should know mybf's character lor.
i know u're like happy only hearing all those stuffs just dont want to have problems with me thats why gimme that look. and keep rolling ur eyes.
oh please. there is a fucking reaon why he is called MY BOYFRIEND and not urs.
there is a fucking reason why he's disturbing u in frnt of me also.
u really dumb or what?
and and and stop repeating questions people ask me when i just said it out loud.
or asking questions which has obvious answers.
its not irritating. its FUCKING IRRITATING!
and it shows how dumb u actually are.

im complaining and swearing too much.
i shall stop.
i could write a whole essay.

i have stupid boring ballet tmrw with elisebeth.
ballet isnt supposedto be THIS boring!
i'm running out of ideas what to wear to school alrdy.
and it had only been 3 months.
i feel damn bad for baby.
im always so slacked sia.
need to glam abit lor.
i know right.
but i cnt wear skirts!
stupid rehersals.
i'll be the glam thing when u take me on a date allright?
*hint hint*
hahaha.
i love you baby!
so fucking much.

love,
Nana

Life is so cruel without you here beside me...

2009-10-18T18:22:00.002+08:00

i miss my baby so much.
thank god the weekend's comming to an end.
tym passes so bloody fast when im with baby and so fucking slow when im not with him.
grrrrrrrrrrrr.
so angryfying.

love,
nana

if you want me to treat you with respect, you jollywell show me respect first.
stop interfering with the adult's problems when you don't know what the fuck the problem is.
i'm just keeping quiet cus its not my problem. but if you ever mess with my mom again thats the last straw. if it was once or twice i dont give a damn. but its more then that. and its always. i dont have to even use my brains to think and alrdy know what the list of things you actually bought for my grandmother. lets see, spending money on things like, facial, massages, pedicures,manicures,birds nest,sharksfin.... i dont even think my grandmother needs or even get to eat or use all these. now you're asking for money from my mom when u've spent them on these things and you people are the ones who took all the money. by telling my mom off this way is a fucking brainless way. if you would ever lay ur hands on my mom, i dont care what happens,i'm gna fuck you upside down.say that i dont respect you? respect my mom and dad first. bloody fucker.

love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow completes you.

2009-10-17T00:31:00.010+08:00

hello sugars!
i'm like super duper happy and had rose from cloud 9 to cloud forever!
i got logged off last night and thank god blogger has a auto save thingy.
my bloody computer needed to do configurations and it logged me off :'(
whats worse, i was talking to baby online when it happened.
and then cus baby went to eat, i fell asleep.

i've been super tired these days thanks to the stupid late night reheresals which gave us stupidly not enough sleep. Dex and i were the ones who actually skipped dance practical classes on thursday! i went for ballet but i couldn't keep my eyes open. i was just sitting in the cornner hearing lectures from Yaling saying how not serious we all are. and then i skipped contemp and slept at the frass. for the first tym i actually went into a deep deep sleep. i didnt even know when Ben and Dex left or even when Yi Xin sat next to Serene.it rained and i woke up when it got hot cus i had 2 jackets over me. and the heat was killing me.

Yesterday was so awesome!
we had only 9 girls out of 17 i think... in class.
Pei Shan's class was still on and tym actually flew quickly.
Yaling's class was cancelled so we actually ended school at 10.
went to ICA with Dex to collect her ic.which was fuckingly fast.
and trained to the other side of singapore which seriously we both got lost to find baby and Ben.
baby camped at Ben's the night before and they didnt respond to our morning calls!
obviously they didn't come to school.
both phones cannot be connected to them so we took Ben's home number from learning portal and we actually thought of stupid and crazy porject ideas to get ben to the phone in case his mom answered instead.
thankfully, his brother answered. and as we had guessed, they were still sleeping.
their 15 minutes took forever.
Dex and i were like eating chocolates and all while waiting for our 2 vain bfs.
okay not both bfs. mine only.

ate at foodcourt and trained to douby ghourt.
we caught 500 days of summer.
which is fucking boring.
i slept.
saw that bimbo Yani outside Cathay when the movie ended.
that one another crazy one.

left Ben and Dex alone while baby and i cabot.
heard stuffs i didnt want to. and i didnt even realise.
but thank u for being so honest with me b.
im building my trust with u.
i really hope its nothing okay.

pictures tym :D
i supposed i uploaded all.

we sat at the couch for one and a half hours.

my pretty baby :D hahahaha.

Dex and Ben :D

started cam whoring with baby :D

only my baby will act crazy with me sia.

my baby's so cute :D

my baby's so suave :D

my hair's freaking messy. its not volume baby. its messy. volume is messy but nice. this one is outright messy.

i love my baby sooooooooo fucking much !!!!!!

yes i cannot get enough of him.

always tym pass so damn fast.

so irritating lor.

i never realise how much i could love him till now.

i never realise how much he meant to me till i almost lost him.

i never loved someone quite as deeply and much as i love him.

baby, ur love has given me courage to be strong.

your smile never fails to light up my day.

the more i yearn for you to stay.

i never felt love this strong,

the more our love grows day by day,

i can't wait to live another day.

baby, u're taken my world away.

and only u have the keys to stay.

you're everything i want,

the first and last thing on my mind.

im sorry we fought that day.

but its all because of love.

i hope u'll understand ur stupid, and crazy ah lian.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!

love,

nana

loving you is easy cus u're beautiful

2009-10-11T17:37:00.004+08:00

i can't seem to stop thinking about baby...
im so in love with him...
as the days passed our love grows...
omg.. i want him by my side every damn second of the day!!!!
I LOVE YOU BABY!!!

No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtime
Cause lovin' you has made my life so beautiful
And every day my life is filled with lovin' you....

lalalalala,lalalalala,lalalalalalalalalalalala.

love,
Nana.

fate brought us tgt baby.

2009-10-10T23:55:00.010+08:00

Hello sugars!
before i start to rattle on,i wna say something...
I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!!!!
i had an awesome week this week!!
it was a killer and a drama but oh so awesome!!
my life is getting so fucking interesting and funnn!!

Monday 5th october

school... rehersal...and i fell sick.
Fuck!

Tuesday 6th October

temperature rose.
skipped school.
FUCK!
went for rehersals at night.

Wednesday 7th october

SUN FEST!!!
awesome shit!

Thursday 8th october

SUN FEST!!
way better then the night before.
LASALLE babies came to support:D
fun giler!
thanks LASALLE BABIES,CMH, AYUS,JIELING,DANDAN,VANESSA,ELYSEBETH and VERONICA for comming downnnnn:D
really appreciate it though itwasjust 15 minutes.u guys still took the tym to come downn.

Friday 9th october

oh fuck.
wth did i do ytd?
who cares?
oh right.
school, rehersal, Stero lounge with baby,Dex,Poh,Harris,Tett and JR.
omg its so freaking after office thingy sia.
went back early cus dad was alrdy nagging.
baby accompanied me <3
lucky didnt kena fucked when i got home sia.

today 10th october

its a rainny morning, 10 am, and i was in school.
what the fuck.
rehersals like oh so my god.
early morning kena fucked sia everyone.
waited and called practically everyone to come down.

had the most wonderful and craziest night with baby.
i love him so much sia.
i can't seem to get enough of him.
he's my everything.
and everything is him.
i love you baby.
so so much.

SUN FEST picturessss...

TETT... the one who will go crazyyyy with me... :D

and then the one behind had to be in the picture? wtf okayy.

"I dont drink!!!" thats a lie*

makeup melt alrdy...

hair's all wet and in a mess...

Ratna,Ud,Susi,Eeqa...

and she had to leave me alone in a mid-drift... _I_ her bf luh.

this woman could still hug me... im like drenched sia. lol.

u know what, they actually look cute tgt.

i should have some other pictures...

i'll upload when i want to...

love my horoscopeee:D

Dear Pisces, things are finally starting to come together for you when it comes to romance. If it has been feeling like progress has been slow for you, you must realize that the slowest journeys are the ones that are the most successful. You and a particular person have been needing some individual down time in order to restore emotional health and balance, and it has been working well for both of you. If you have been wondering about this notion of soul mates, today or in the coming period you will learn the truths on this matter with a deeper significance than ever before. This is the kind of match most people dream about, but few are lucky to experience, so take note of what is in front of you as this is most definitely the miracle you've been waiting for.

definately the one i wna hold on tight and walk thru not only fort canning baby.. walk thru my whole life....

idk why but i love being with baby.

the thing is, i only know him for 3 months.

i feel lke i've known him forever!

i love you baby!

its definately a fate and a miracle to have u in my arms...

love,

Nana

i'm such a typical nyonya.

2009-10-04T21:25:00.003+08:00

tell me again why im blogging...

firstly:
i changed my header:D
me love it nowwww :D
i didnt know i took nicer pictures before.
wl eh.
i just had to add a lil dramatic contrast change.

secondly:
i am freaking bored.

thirdly:
i wna say alot of things but idk how to say or what to say.

fourthly:[is there even a word like that?]
i realised in most of my posts the first sentence i'd say is.....
i havent been blogging for quite sometime/
my blog is dead/
i have no time.....

so now i have time and so i blog...
i'm craving for spicy stuffs!
i havent crave for food so much ever since school started till friday when i suddenly told baby that i was craving for burger king.. then later macdonalds.
like pregnant sia.
i havent drank coffee i a long tym and thus far i havent had caffine cravings.
no wait. i do have caffine cravings.
instead of drinking coffee, i drink coke.
which is just as bad.

what do u know?
i've been on my laptop since i woke up and i havent done any research on my project which i have to present this week.
baik aku!

okay okay...
i've finally realised i'm not actually bored.
or i dont have stuffs to do...
simple reason is, i'm fucking lazy and damn god i have many things to do.

okay okay..
i should say bye nowww..
goodbyeeeeeeee!

i love my baby boy!
i'm so whinny.
:D
no mind no mind.
I LOVE YOU BABY!

LOVE,
Nana <3

always.....

2009-10-04T15:19:00.005+08:00

Hello sugars!
its been long since i've uploaded pictures.
and yes. cus i'm super tired and partially lazy.
school have been fun!
we had some theme partaye on monday.
we were all so into our chair "classroom secene" dance that the girls had crazy ideas to dress studently to school.
everyone was like so neat,sweet and proper.
all except me i suppose?
i wasn't just about to wear my oil painted stanined uniform to school.
as i expected, all their uniforms were so clean!
its like they just bought their unifroms.
thank god i didnt wear my uniform.
they even influenced the music boys and the theatre peeps to come in uniforms.

the fingerprints on our dance studio's mirrors were so distracting and so eeeeeeewwww!!!

time for some action!

cheerleaders in action???

me likey this pic-y.

informal class picture.
i dont lkey the formal one so suppose its on fb. go see there then.

school life's up and down with alot of pictures:D

me likey this picturee...

i love my hair!

bf says its so vogue. lol.
YiXin looks so cute can....

Eeqa labelled as: the minah rock ahlian.

i give the kind of look that even i wna slap myself sia.

XinYi looks so funny. idk what she was focusing at instead of the camera. but she is posing allright.

they could still pose while i.....

...

....

.....

......

.......

........

.........

...........

..........

.........
........

.......
.....

....

...

was sleeping...

and got captured on camera..

GENEE INTERNATIONAL BALLET COMPETITION

finally a decent picture tgt.

i'm gna miss themmm :(

ooohhhh. im so in love with this picture can can can?!?!?!?!?

15 minutes random picture :D

this is what u get when u have lunch at 15 minutes with Xinyi.

but cus its so damn cute i want a picture of it before it starts to disfigure.

LOVE OF A LIFETIME

i had a date with him that day:D

o0ps! i dont think he know i took this picture :P

but he's just so cuteeeee :D

me love him many many!!!!!!!!!!

baby,

we've been on a rocky path these days but i know we'll get through.

i'm sorry if i actually hurt u.

and idk why u somehow like the ahlian side of me.

but anything and everything else doesn't matter quite as much as u do to me.

and i just wna let u know that i really do love you.

please forget about my history.

and forgive my ignorance....

I LOVE YOU B!!!!

love,

Nana

i dropped a tear in the ocean... when u found it, its the day i'll stop loving you...

2009-10-02T23:57:00.003+08:00

hello sugars!
i'm shagged. super shagged.
thanks to sun festival and school.

im gg to bed
i'm super tired from capoeira and rythem ensemble yesterday, and ballet, contempt body conditioning today.
i'm seriously dying. so is my boyfriend.

anyways, comes support LASALL's rythem ensemble cus theres me. hahaha.
on the 7th and 8th october,wednesday and thursday, 7pm @ esplanade's outdoor theatres yeaaaa :D

byeeeee loves!
love,
NANA.
i love my boyfriend!!!!!

will you hold my hands till forever ends?

2009-09-25T00:37:00.003+08:00

hello sweet hearts.
my blog is dead.
i have no fucking tym to blog.
everytym im online cus im doing work and if not facebooking.
i've been comming back home at 12 recently.
this week was supposed to be project week.
which somehow means holiday as well.
but fuck no.
i only got "holiday" on monday and tuesday.
supposed we could go back by 4 when we start school at 1. but but but,
rythem ensemble is at 7. and it ends at 10.

rythem ensemble these pass two days were omfg! awesome!!!!!
bloco singapura practised with us.
the people are so awesome and fun to be with man.
i so love rythem ensemble!!!!!!
though i getting bruises on my legs and blisters on my hands, it really is awesome playing with them.

i cant seem to get enough of my baby!
im so shagged.
ima sleep now.
goodnight loves!

Nana.

for your love....

2009-09-18T23:20:00.002+08:00

hello sweets!

im super hyper today.
dont ask me why. i pun tak tau asal.
im like fking noisy since the day started.
dance classes passed like freaking quickly today.
i was like crazy during body conditioning.
i started laughing and smiling at the slightlest thing.
like non stop sia.till my abs hurt like hell.

and my baby didnt go to school Again.
he didnt attend school ytd cus he said he didnt have the mood to go cus i wasnt in school.
dont ask me abt my exam. i might have screwed it up.
anyways, i did morning call him at 730.
he still can say okay okay he'll prepare for school.
he ended up calling me at 12 smthng telling me he's still at home.
i ate rice today! hahhahaha.
and i ended up sleeping 15 minutes before class.
but after that i high again.
after gamelan we were supposed to have project performance class. but shiok skrng sey! takde class! we asked Harris to let us balik.
he take attendance then released us alrdy.
it was like saturday night fever in a club sia.
we all went insane!
we reli should go to a club tgt one day.

meet baby and we somehow managed to spend 2 and a half hours doing nothing.
dont think wai wai luh. u know what i mean.
Tett was there with Ben and somehow Ben went to makan with Xin they all.
waited for Xinyi to come. that one also one anyhow.
but i still love her.
now talk also sama sama only.
we went to bk.
i love talking to Tett sia. he's so damn funny.
baby sent me back:D

i feel our love growing.
i can miss him the minute he's not at my sight.
thank god he came today.
if not its like 6 days nvr get to see.
by then i probably be dead.

im shagged alrdy.
ima wait for baby to go home before i sleep.
good night babies!

you, light up my life.....

2009-09-15T23:24:00.003+08:00

hello babies!
i've moved back from onsugar cus its like so effing diffcult to insert my images and if i did, i had to change format.
since then, i've not uploaded any mass pictures on my blog.
so sucky right. i know right.

school has been taking up almost my tym of the day sia.
cb. i only have nights and weekends for myself.
not lately its not.
i've been watching school musical productions which are noted to be compulsory.
and best still. they all starts at 8. 8p.m. 2000hrs.
the best is yet to come. its usually a 1.5 to 2 hour show and guess what tym i reach home?!?!!?
latest was abt 1 or 130 in the morning.
not worse enuf, school starts at 830 in the morning. which gives me only enuf tym to take a nap.
okayy, school's not all to blame. and i can't blame it on the boyfriend.
we're just doing what we do.
i so need to find the fucking tym in my life to keep him company sia.
seriously, i havent felt this in like so fucking long.
flings are nothing but him, he is something.

my mind is taking a heavy turn. im like overly critical or pessimistic about a specific situation during this period. i have to understand that this is part of the picture in a relationship.
i need clarity as i know the answers will never come directly to me in this situation.
i need to know that i'm not losing him.
cus it feels like it. and its so angryfying.
but im glad i cleared things up with him.
im so in love with that stupid matrep of mine.

i need to do smthng with my fucking messy and not straight anymore hair.
so irrtating.
tie my hair to look neater he'll slide my hairclip out and say i look better without tying my hair.

basic ballet sucks big tym sia.
my god can u believe i'm falling asleep on the barre?!?!!?!?!??
contemp is so effing fun!
only when peishan's in a good mood like today.
not like thunderstorm like last week.
body conditioning is a hardcore killer man!
its not army style but seriously, its worse then army can.

lunchtym concert was so shiok today.
it was a live jazz performance.
and they dim the lights and we're in the theatre...
omfg! the whole stretch of dancers were sitting tgt and the whole stretch fell asleep.
after the show the theatre people were like:' the dancers are so quiet tdy. they all fell asleep sia. not one or 2 but the whole stretch.' lol.

okayy... im so gna sleep now.
thank god baby's home like so early finally.

goodnight sweet hearts :)
will post pictures when i have the tym okay?

2009-07-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

hello babies!

LASALLE's orientation was today:D
i'm so freaking excited to go to school!!!!!!!
but am hating the time secdules!
except for thursday, i end school at 1900hrs every damn day!

people there are AWESOME!
and dressing is super glam.
it was the first tym i felt so under dressed cannn. sibei paiseyyyy.

seemed i need to know more people from dance. that girl i know is outright...... er.......
shant sayyy.
spotted alot of cute and i meant cute guys!!!!!!!
woohoo!
bbut all not in performing arts uh. all visual :(

anyways, i'm freaking beat.
lazy type ler.
byeeeeee babies!

love,
nana

2009-07-28T00:04:00.004+08:00

OH FUCK! I SPRAINED MY ANKLE!

so angryfying.
this had to happen when i'm one week away from 5 days Ballet.
mother f. lahh!

everyone everywhere is getting attatched.
not me :(
lol. is that a good or bad thing?
i'm just getting bored that why ;D

rough day.
stupid people.
maybe its the weather. i've been flaring for nothing.
seems i get irritated and angry easily.
which is so not good.
or maybe its just me :(
boohoo!

will update again:D
love,
Nana.

2009-07-27T00:43:00.006+08:00

Boo! Ello Earthlings!!!
my updates are so last last. omg omg OMG!
nvmmmm.. at least i update :D

this was so 4 days ago :D
went out with my wife to Bras Besah to get her schol stuff at art friend.
anyone holding a pink item needed LASALLE paper dont have to search high and low for the items. they actually placed everything according to "item number" at a corner!!!
damn convenient. we walked around the shop to kpo kpo and She actualli kept "exchanging" those displayed for school items she took to either another colour or another design. cus she say those more "CHIO!" lol. cus she hiao so need pay abit difference for the more "CHIO" items.

used CMH's canon cam take my new nail creations.
i know i know... i reli got nth to do.. but so? the marble effect damn abstract man!
DAMN CHIO LAHHH!!
this angle makes my hands so fat! nvm.. I LOVE MY NAILS!

back to story...

we bought this slimmy toy at the toy museum. cus we go jalan jalan wait for our passport pictures to be ready. jalan till toy museum.

at the the traffic light we spotted some i suppose are NAFA FASHION students cus their dressing is fashion------- wierd. so its kinda obvious.

Serena:" omg.. art students are so cool! "

me:" thanks uh! i know right!"
LASALLE students are way cooler! [no offence cus im in LASALLE!]

he items actually weighed 6 kg!!!! mother f!

see her hands!so bloody red!

she actualli carried them conquring the whole of bugis!

her reciept for the items she bought at art friend.

bloody long.........

she's super facinated with that slimmy thing. lol

she said she vomited blood...

happy only..... no chlidhood uh wifey?

we look similar in these pictures.

i suppose you'll think we're sisters if you saw us on the streets. lol :D

the opposites.....

my pretty wifey!

FYI Sab, i have blood flowing okayy. im not pale!!! seeeeeeeee....

emo ler emo...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CMH AND JOEYYY!!

loves!

went to Vivo with CMH and wife a few hrs ago.

suppose to meet wife at 3 ended up i reached home at 245!

went to the market with mummy and i smartly left my phone at home.

i was frantkly searching for Serena the night before and i told CMH wife didnt reply sms or answer the fone!

well, we must reli be sisters.... she told CMH the exact same thing in the afternoon!!!

lol. as usual, i was .... er.. late.

met wife at Bedok and then to VIVO.

wife wanted to get CMH a ballon. a floating ballon. but seemed NO WHERE in vivo or Harbour Front Centre sells floating already blown ballons!

CMH called wife telling her she arrived ler. we were like "sh*t!"

wife told her that i wasn't with her yet and that she's not at vivo yet.

delayed the tym and we actualli did shopping!

SIX was having $1 $2 $3 sales....

so you know you know.....

and bloody toys'r'us dont sell blown ballons! i thought they used to?

there is actually. free ones but some lil kid has to have a haircut to get one.... boohoo!

we walked ard and ard telling CMH to wait at Tangs.

till, wife suddenly went :" Steph! BALLON BALLON!"

some shop sells floating ballons!

we ran in and wife told the sales girl :" i want the happy birthday ballon."

the sales girl look damn confuses. but her attitude sucks..

anyways... we got her a green happy birthday ballon. and "stole" some ink from the shop's pens.

we had a lil card but no pen. we had unsharpened pencils which comes in so unhandy just because its uv pencils which changes colour when you touch it...

the girl blew the ballon and wife went :" Steph,[pointing to the pens] pen pen!"

i wrote quickly and so damn ugly cus the pen no ink no ink one lor.

wife kept poking me telling me she's gna be ready ler. but i was still scribbling.

she blocked me and asked for a plastic bag. changing her attention. damn funny.

floating ballon in a plastic bag. so spoiler. lol

i suppose the girl knows cus we kept giggling.

met CMH.. no Scared CMH and we went to Marche for dinner!

well, it was kind early at first and we played in the water instead.

Marche is super duper packed lor!

thank god we were early. the queue got damn long.

but.. marche lost standard. like reli.. that tym at suntec was a whole lot better.

oh wells, we treated CMH dinner :D

and proceeded to Hendersons Waves.

my god! i swear that place is like HEAVEN!

my wife is so damn smart. i ask her copy down what bus goes to Henderson.. she didnt.

but that god. she somehow got memory space...

we took the bus to Henderson. the bus driver sont even know what im talking abt can. so laoya one.then i was like. "that high high long long bridge. you go go there?"

he was like ohh that one. got got.

so i asked where are we supposed to alight.

he went :" i dont know. i got pass thru there though."

aiya. i ended up saying :" oh nvm. i'll agar agar alight lahh."

so angryfying lor. what kind of bus driver dont know the places he drives to??????

anyways. we alighted and climbed up 67m above sea level. thank me and my big idea to wear a dress and gg there.

but at least i made the 2 babies happy!

the view is super nice!

put that in your "THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE/GET OLD" list.

die cus if you lucky u in heaven better lahh.. but if hell is cannot see one lor.

get old cus you'll die even before you get to step in there. cus u wun be able to walk.

damn sweeee!

CMH culd actuali make up a lousyyy lousy excuse to help people take pictures with her "oh so better" camera. those people were using digital cameras to take a jump shot. and obviously kept jumping and jumping.their camera so retarded one.

like that also can make friends.

sua.

then see cute guy with girlfriend also ask.

sua.

trained back to tampines after alot alot of pictures at Hendersons Waves.

will post when i stell frm CMH's blog :D

met Ken cus CMH and wife havent seen him for a long tym.

also nvr talk one...

bussed home:D

will upload pictures soon!

byee babies!

love,

nana

2009-07-22T23:43:00.002+08:00

Hello EArthlings!

i'm super insane to not be sleeping still. School's in a few days tym and i'm still hibernating at 4 in the morning. this is worse than Awesome!

today's a friggin' lazy day and a happy day. i'm like super moody in the morning, cus i really don't like the fact that my parents are off. i mean its great that they're off. but they wake me up EARLY. and yes. i get super annoyed.
oh wells, not all rules could be broken. and thats an ultimate fact.

went to SOuthern Star to get my fucking pay. which i waited for more then a month alrdy. firstly cus i didnt go down and get it. by the tym im free to go down, they changed office. and the in charge can't even give me the frigging new address. till she told me they'll send me the money thru mail. and i stupidly waited for 2 effin weeks and no mail=no money! i finally asked her again a few days back and she told me it shuld have alrdy been sent out. she then told me to call the office and check with Aunty Theresa. Clearly, Aunty Theresa on the other end was waiting for me to go down and collect the money. i finally did. well, i actually spent half my pay cheque right after i've collected them.
my god! i bought alot alot alot of clothes. well, ima girl whudda you want?
i actually spent 5 hours at the iluma today. carpark was $9.99!!!!!!!!
actually was 2 hrs eating, supposed one hour to wait for my specs to be done but ended up shopping for more then 2 hrs. clothes were TEMPTED one. i was supposed to try this ohh so fabulous dress. try nia. but end up trying more and more and then buying them all. lol. thank mummy lor. she kept going. "this one's nice! go try!... that's cute! go try!..." so i go try everything my dad say nice and everyone in the shop was like wayching a fashion show. so all were like "nice!" eventually, i bought them lor :D sue me!

gg to take passport photo for student pass and ezlink card tmrw with my dear, Serena.
Suppose i'll take loads of camwhoring pictures... as usual :D

toodles loves!
im watching "She's The Man".
love,
Nana

i think i just died.

2009-07-22T00:58:00.003+08:00

i'm super super super tired.
ballet was okayy today. i so bo lat [no strength] today.
the china doll was like " jump higher lady!"
damn jialat.
and whats worse, i ate before class. how the fuck could i not have energy to dance lehh?
i pun tak tau.
mtv was super!!!
the class is damn alot of people. i got squeezed into one corner at the back as usual.
thank god Fransis didi really wild movements.
i meant thank him cus alot of people felt it was either too diffcult or it was against their principle. so they actually left the class. and i got super loads of space! lol.
the steps were so PCD lor!
damn hiao hiao bitchy bitchy one :D
me likey.. [oops, now you know my secret.]

i made a super huge mess in my room i called "packing". and now im so lazy to throw everything away. or even put my stuffs back.
i finally found my long lost dunno-where-i-put game boy, alot of paint brushes,alot alot of bo ink d pens, alot of cut up recipies from magazines, alot of JunYuan Suckondary School's foolscape paper, alot of foolscape paper, alot of useless items and alot of tissue packets.
and everything was only in 2 drawers and a shelf.
now i have 5 huge bags of rubbish. idk how i actually put everything useless in my drawers.
damn me sial.

i'm a super delay queen! omg! its getting worse i swear!
late for every damn thing!
really am a fuckig delay queen.
i'm never early for ballet or even meeting people.
used to be damn punctual for a period of tym. but i swear now, im as good as bad.
something needs to be done. well, its not completely my fault also lor.
SBS sucks to the core!
Joelynne said she takes about 20-25 minutes from Tampines to Sengkang.
budden, i take half an hour from Tampines Street 45 to Tampines interchange! sometyms even longer. its either the bus driver drives damn fucking slow, or the bus doesnt have the constancy lor. if complain they give a fucking excuse that the driver dun want to get involve in accidents so they drive slowly or " according to the secdule, the bus driver is on time" mother F lahh. what lousy excuses. on tym?just waiting nia lehh i spent 30-45 minutes? how ridiculous! i suppose i'll be at AMK from Tampines by 45 minutes lor! or worse. i could have already been at Woodlands!!
And wth its from east Tampines to Central Tampines lor!!!!

i needa sort out my playlist.
every damn thing is an unknown artist. find song damn diffcult :(
byee earthlings!

love,
nana

2009-07-20T23:13:00.002+08:00

hello earthlings!
im somehow in a happy mood and im effin tired:D

i'm seriously loving ballet now. i mean the china doll is fucking good!
good as in her teaching and training and drilling really meant training and drilling. we have never felt that tired during ballet class before. ever! half of class over only we're like gna faint alrdy. she'll make us do and repeat the effin exercise till she either sees perfection or till she sees an improvement.
seems i actually like her teaching methods. its good also to know and adapt to different teacher's teaching styles :D
Ms Pang gave birth on Wednesday instead of Saturday last week. ITS A BOY!!! :D

OMG. IDK WHAT WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE.MY PICTURES ARE SEXY AND SEDUCTIVE? WTF? JUST BEACUSE I PUT THE PICTURE OF ME IN A BIKINI AS DISPLAY PICTURE ON MSN MEANT SEDUCTIVE?LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO WEAR AT A BEACH?JEANS?OR WORSE BAJU KURUNG? ISIT WRONG TO WEAR A BIKINI? "I CANNOT ACCEPT THAT PICTURE" SO DONT FUCKING ACCEPT IT. JUST ACCEPT THE FUCKING FACT THAT I'VE GROWN UP. AND BIKINIS ARE NOT A CRIME OKAYY. DON'T GO "AT LEAST DON'T WEAAR A BIKINI LAHH. SO REVEALING" MOTHER F.
MY PASAL LAHH. HOW I DRESS IS NOT FOR YOU TO JUDGE. AT LEAST I HAVE FASHION SENSE. AND 90% OF MY CLOTHES NOT BOUGHT BY ME CAN? MY MOM ALSO NVR ASY SO MUCH WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TALK SO MUCH? I'M NOT CONSERVATIVE OKAYY. MY FAMILY'S NOT LIKE YOURS.

this tym's for real. Dad really knows. lol. i dk if im supposed to feel happy or sad or angry. but seriously, i'm happier. hahaha. i didnt get caught red handed or smthng. he just texted me. he was checking what tym i end class today and suddenly added " cha bo kia[which means daughter] you better stop that habit ya? Dad found the empty boxes while clearing your room and ashes on the sofa last week ya."
JACKPOT! my god! hahahah. i didnt reply. budden he asked if i recieved the text just now and i was like " yes. okayy. i will."
surprisingly i wasnt surprise dad would ask or say anything. he didnt scold. heng heng heng alrdy. good enuf :D

woohoo! im craving for coffee again. fuck! i just had starbucks! starbucks for energy is good man! im craving for chocolates now. man! this suck seriously. ima get fat. and Kel, im not thin. not super thin either! i needa lose weight ler:'(
i need to get in shape :(

till next tym:D
love,
nana

2009-07-19T20:25:00.006+08:00

FRIDAY, 17TH JULY 2009
[FORT CANNING GREEN]
BALLET UNDER THE STARS

FORT CANNING GREEN ON FRIDAY.
IT WAS A LAST MINUTE UNCONFIDENT BUS RIDE TO FORT CANNING.
THANKS TO CHERYL. CALLED SUPER LAST MINUTE TO CHANGE PLANS.
WAITED FOR JOELYNNE AS SHE WAS A ROAD DUMMY AND SHE WAS AT TAMPINES INTERCHANGE ALREADY.
518 GOES TO PLAZA SINGAPURA SO I ASKED HER TO BUSS DOWN FROM INTERCHANGE TO MY HOUSE AREA :D
HAD SUDDEN CRAVINGS FOR SOUR PLUMS.
THANK GOD THE BUSSTOP HAD MAMA SHOPS:D
WAITED FOR THE BUS WHICH TOOK FOREVER TO COME.
AND THE BUS UNCLE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE FORT CANNING IS!!!!
WE ENDED UP ASKING HIM IF THE BUS GOES TO DOUBY GHOURT-.-
IT WAS LIKE 6 ALREADY AND WE'RE STILL IN TAMPINES!!!!!!
PHONE BILLS WERE RISING THAT DAY MAN!
NOT CARMEN CALL ME JIU I CALL CHERYL.
JIALAT!
BUT WE MANAGED TO CLIMB UP FORT CANNING PARK TO FORT CANNING GREEN.
WE ACTUALLY MADE A HUGE ROUND. BUT LUCKY CUS FROM THE TOP CAN SPOT CHERYL. HER MAT WAS SUPER HUGE SO VERY EAZY SPOT! HAHAHA.
EVERYONE ELSE BESIDE US WERE LIKE 5,6 PEOPLE SQEEZING THEIR BIG BUTTS INTO A SMALL BEACH MAT. DAMN FUNNY! AND VERY OBSCENE!

THE VOUGE LOOK.. LOL. CHERYL AND JOELYNNE CMI LAHH!

ALISHA TOOK THIS. SO CANDID. IDK WHAT CHERYL WAS ASKING ME THAT WE STARED LIKE WE'RE GNA KILL EACH OTHER ANYTYM.

MUMMY CALLED. AND LIKE THAT ALSO CAN TAKE PICTURE:D

WE LOOK KINDA SIMILIAR.

CHERYL, THIS IS CALLED CLASSIC CAN!

ALISHA'S PROMOTING THE PIZZA CRACKERS. SHE PRACTICALLY FINISHED THE WHOLE PACKET!

SEE, IM NOT KIDDING. WE ALREADY STRETCHED OUR LEGS BUT THERE'E STILL ALOT OF SPACE LORR. THATS HOW BIG THE MAT WAS! LOL

IT WAS EFFIN HOT I SWEAR! I WAS LIKE DRIPPING WET.

SHE'S LIKE SUPER SMALL CAN.
AND STILL COMPLAINS SHE'S FAT?!?!??!?

DARK WAS APPROACHING, MORE LIKE RAIN LOR. THE SKY BECAME RED.

DAMN SWEEEEEEE!

THEY WERE ACTING MODELS AND YEA. CHERYL'S VOUGE LOOK. LOL

THEY SAID THERE WERE ABOUT 2 THOUSAND PEOPLE THERE. HMMM.

I SWEAR I WAS ON THE VERGE FROM THE START OF THE SHOW TILL THE INTERVAL TILL THE END TO KILL PEOPLE!

PEOPLE ARE PRACTICALLY TAKING THEIR BLOODY TIME TO WALK UP AND DOWN THE HILL AND TO AND FRO IN FRONT OF US!

THE SHOW HAD STARTED AND THEY DONT EVEN BOTHER!

WE WE SIAMMMING THEM TO SEE. MOST SECTIONS ARE SOLOS AND WE'RE ALREADY SQUEENING OUR EYES TO WATCH THEM DANCE LOR.

WORST STILL, THOSE THAT STAND UP AND WALK UP HILL WERE THOSE SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GRASS PATCH!!! SRIOUSLY, ONCE THEY STAND, THEIR BUTT BLOCKS ANYONE ON STAGE. OR EVEN THE WHOLE STAGE!

SOME INSTEAD OF CARRYING THEIR BABIES AND SCRAM, THE HOLD THEIR HANDS AND WERE LIKE " HER GOT STEP, SLOWLY, SLOWLY," WTF?!?!?!?

I GOT ANNOYED FIRST, SLOWLY, CARMEN AND CHERYL GOT ANNOYED TOO.

THROUGHT OUT THE WHOLE BLOODY SHOW!

I GUESS AS MUCH, THESE PEOPLE DONT APPRECIATE CLASSICAL BALLET. THTEY JUST COME FOR THE SAKE OF "OHH I WATCHED BALLET UNDER THE STARS! IT WAS DAMN NICE!"

NICE MY ASS!

THE PERFORMANCE WAS SUPERB!

THE GUYS WERE AWESOMEEEEE!!!!!

PIROETTES WERE NOTHING TO THEM LAHH!OMG!

ONCES TURNED 7,8 ROUNDS!!!!

WOOHOO!

BUT THE GUY SITTING BEHIND US SPOILT THE WHOLE THING.

HE WENT " STOP SPINNING ALREADY! YOU'RE MAKING ME DIZZY!"

WHAT THE HELL? THIS IS CALLED CLASSICAL BALLET. AND IF HE'S MAKING YOU DIZZY WHY THE HELL YOU SPEND $25 TO WATCH SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU DIZZY?

I SURVIVED 3 AND A HALF HOUR SITTING ON A SLOPED HILL!

PI GU WILL PAIN ONE.

THE SWHOLE THING ENDED AT 10. AND WE WERE ALL DAMN HIGH.

WE STOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF A MOVING ROAD AND JUMPED AROUND.

TRAINNED BACK TO TAMPINES.

BUSSED BACK WITH CARMEN :D

SATURDAY, 18TH JULY 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATIARA AND IZZATI BABY!!!!

I WOKE UP AT 1130! DAMN GOOD LOR ME.

CB. DUNNO WHY WEEKDAYS CAN WAKE UP SO EARLY THOUGH SLEEP SO LATE BUT WEEKENDS CANNOT WAKE UP AT ALL.

WENT MARKET TO EAT THEN GO GRANDMA'S HOUSE.

AND BALLET AFTER.

I JUST REALISED MY GRANDMA'S MAID IS INDONESIAN!

LOL! I KEPT THINKING SHE WAS PHILIPINA.

MS PANG IS OFFICIALLY AWAY FROM CLASS ALREADY.

SUPPOSED I THOUGHT THE CHINA TEACHER'S GNA BE CRAP, BUT SHE TURNED OUT TO BE DAMN GOOD.

ONLY HER PROUNCIATION'S A BIT WIERD.

THOUGH I CAME TO KNOW GLISSADE IS 格里萨 AND PAS DE CHAT IS 帕地莎!

:D

MS CHOW IS GOOD LOR.

SHE EVALUATES EACH OF US ONE BY ONE AND TELLS US OUR WEAK POINT AND OKAYY POINT AND GOOD POINT.

WAS ON FFS LAST NIGHT SNATCHING GUO QIANG FROM KELLY TILL I REALLY NO MONEY ALRDY!

DAMN ADDICTIVE :D

TODAY, I'VE BEEN CLEARING MY MESS IN MY ROOM!

HAHHAA. I FOUND MY GAME BOY! YAY???

TILL NOW, I DECIDED TO BLOG!

I'M NOT ANGRY BECAUSE OF THE POLICE THINGY OR THE BOY THING.

I'M JUST REALLY TIRED OF YOUR GAMES.

IDK WHY I'M ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU. AND I MEANT ALWAYS.

BUT YOU? YOU WERE THERE BUT NEVER ALWAYS.

I'M TIRED OF BEING YOUR EXCUSE TO GO OUT WHEN YOU'RE WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND I HAVE TO GET MY MOM TO LIE IF YOUR MOM ASKED?

I'M TIRED OF BEING THE BACK UP FOR YOU.

FIRST THERE WAS P AND CLARA.

WHENEVER YOU ACTUALLY CALLED ME, WAS BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM ARE GNA BE LATE FOR CLASSES OR THEY'RE NOT COMMING AND YOU WERE ALONE.

MAYBE YOU'LL SAY THAT WASN'T THE INTENTION BUT ITS NOT ONCE.

IF I APPEAR P AND CLARA'S NOT THERE.

I DIDNT WNA SAY ANYTHING. WHAT ELSE COULD I DO? YOU WERE MY CLOSE FRIEND.

THEN CAME CHERYL. YOU THINK I DIDNT KNOW?

CHERYL WAS THE NEXT P AND CLARA EVER SINCE INTER STARTED.

I MEAN, IM NOT WHINNING OR COMPLAINING. ITS JUST THAT, USING ME, IS REALLY LOW OF YOU.

AND USING IS A RIGHT WORD CUS WHEN YOU ALWAYS HAVE DINNER AFTER CLASS, MAYBE ONCE OR TWICE YOU DID ASK. BUT ALWAYS? NEVER! OR EVEN ASK ME TO COME EARLIER FOR CLASSES? GOING OUT? NEVER! IF YOU'LL ASK, THAT IS BEACUSE THEY'RE NOT FREE!!!

IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN ME GETTING HURT.

IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN ME COVERING UP FOR YOU.

IT HAD ALWASY BEEN ME YOU'LL REMEMBER WHEN YOU NEED.

IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN ME LISTENING TO YOU.

IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN ME.

BUT IT HAD NEVER BEEN BE THAT YOU ACTUALLY APPRECIATE.NEVER.

YOU PUT IT IN A NICE WAY :" THIS IS STEPH, SHE'S THE BEST"

IN THE BAD WAY,:" THIS IS STEPH, SHE'S THE BEST. CUS SHE'S ALWAYS THERE AS A BACK UP"

I KNOW, BY FAMILY INCOME AND ALL, IM NOT SOME PARIS HILTON.

NEITHER COULD I EVEN BE NICOLE RICHIE.

BUT YOU ARE FINACIALLY YOU ARE.

AS I SAY PARIS BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST LIKE HER!

YOU COULD STILL ACT LIKE NTH HAPPENED AFTER BEING LOCKED?CUFFED?

YOU DIDNT GET THE HARSH TREATMENTS WE ALL HAD.

CUS WE'RE NOT PARIS. WE'RE THE ONLY ONES OUR PARENTS COULD COUNT ON.

WE'RE WORLDS APART FROM YOU.

TELL ME THEN WHAT WAS THE WORST THAT CATUALLY HAPPENED AT HOME AFTER THAT FAITHFULLY NIGHT?

I DON'T WANNA BE A BACKUP FRIEND ANY LONGER. I'VE BEEN FOR 14 YEARS ALREADY.

YES YOU DO REMEMBER ME. ONLY WHEN YOU NEED ME.

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

THAT WHY IM TURNING TO PEOPLE WHO TREATS ME LIKE PEOPLE. LIKE A REAL FRIEND. NEVER A BACKUP. AND I CAME TO REALISE I'M THE FIRST THEY'LL THINK OF INSTEAD OF A BACK UP!

AND I REALLY APRECIATE THAT MORE!

I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE CARMEN , CHERYL, JOY , JOELYNNE AND ALISHA MORE:D

I'M NOT GNA GO ON ANYMORE.

MY HEAD'S SPINNING.

OH AND FYI, SORRY FOR USING CAPS.

CUS THEY'RE SUPER COOL!

AND I DONT HAVE TO PRESS SHIFT FOR TYPING NAMES :D

BALLET IS SERIOUSLY LOVED,

NANA :D

mummy and daddy's 21th Annivasary

2009-07-14T23:56:00.006+08:00

ello earthlings!
today's mummy's and daddy's 21th annivasary.
which means they got married exactly today only 21 years ago :D
i'm the product after 5 years of marriage xp
i did nothing but watched moviess the whole day and only got my butt out of home at 4 to tanjong pagar to know mummy booked a restaurant in bedok!
woke up by a disturbing vibration of my phone by mummy and then the doorbell.
which i obviously ignored both to only realise i could sleep anymore.
i watch accidental husband and bride wars for the thousandth time i suppose.
anyyways, im posting pictures.

this was the second shot

this was the first. cus daddy gave the ah long look.

blackberry italian soda!

soup of hte day------ clam chowder

some combo starters

escargots a.k.a sea snails

myy chicken spagetti :D

Dad shared this with mom. it was really alot.

myy tiramisuuuuu..

damn shiok man!
cus got espresso:D
if you didnt know, i'm a coffe freak! i crave for coffee like nobody's business!

my mom

my dad

and then there was me!

the food's not bad. UOB have discount now. but the prices are still quite reasonable lahh.

the only thing for me is that its a lil too salty.

either too salty or too sweet.

i actually wated to try their drink called "monkey sea monkey drink" but the waiter told me its a lil toooooooooooooo sweet then avg sweet.

[i'll pass!]

okayy, i missed ballet today!

thanks god Ms Pang didnt come.

seemed we'll be having CHEENA classes after Ms Pang gets into the hospital :'(

im still haveing cravings after cravings.

i bought chocolates. and now, im craving for pancakes!

damnit!

so diet free.

:'(

anyways,

ima go now!

byee earthlings:)

my life's getting bborredddd!

im either sleeping or doing nothing, then i start to crave.

can't wait for school! that the least i have smthng to do :D

i'm so stucked to CInderella 3-a twist in time :D

I FKING LOVE CINDERELLA!

love,

nana

2009-07-13T22:38:00.002+08:00

ello people!
i have neglected my blog for 127863256452198 years!
i have been either sleeping if not running and cabbing to ballet classes.
yes, im wasting $4 just like that from home to tampines mall.
oh well, sue me.

my new demi pointes are seriously killing my toes!
my toes are bandaged like idk what now. all the bloody blisters giving me a hell of a time.

not fun not fun!
im partially grounded and it sucks!
thank god i did manage to ask for permission to go to Zati's chalet last saturday.
i thought Yani would be there. in the end, Ada and I alone*sobx* hahahah
we made a new friend, Maple :D
she's really sweet. she arrived kinda early.
was supposed to wait for her poly friends to come which they said to arrive at 7, they ended up appearing at 9 +10.
i felt very underdress that day though.
everyone was so metal, and i was in shorts and a tube top. XP
i felt like all the mak ciks there wna sepak me only.
all in tudung and me...
take food also got pressure!

time check: 0010hrs
HAPPY 21TH ANNIVASARY DADDY AND MUMMSIE!

school starts in august the 3rd! which is so effin near!
im so excited.
but seriously, ballet class might have just killed me.

drugging free now :D
i cant seem to finish a stick *yay*
its killing my stamina :(

i have a misery now.
no 2.
firstly, she's still being paris hilton about everything.
seemed lessons to her still not enough.
im trying to stay away. but its hard.

secondly, tell me why i cannot bring myself to accept him.
he's smart, he cares alot alot alot for me,he's ALWAYS there for me.
i wont say he's goodlooking or anything. i mean my exs arnt either.
but.. there's just something about him stopping me.

i'm craving for bbq-ed marshmellows, popcorn, chocolate and fried mars bars now.
shoot! jialat man!

byeeee earthlings!
love,
nana

2009-07-07T23:25:00.002+08:00

my blood is boiling.
im not in a good mood.
quarelled with a stupid fucker on msn just now.

i finally found out who the FUCK gave my number to the guy who smsed me. who knows my fucking name and my fucking number but refused to tell me who gave him my number.
that fucker is the guy Khai intro one.
well, i was angry wif khai that tym too cus he gave him my number.
and who the hell asks a girl if she's still a virgin the first tym he talks to her?
F.Y.I, i NEVER see him before.
he claims he saw me that tym at lau pa sat. but hello it was midnight and i suppose i only had a glimpse of him. i cant even remember how the fuck he looks like!
nvm bout that,its over but im just really angry now.
he just told me he was the one who gave my number to his"friend".

mingchang: hey did a guy sms you?
nana: omg so it was you.
nana:what the hell is your problem? going everywhere giving anybody my number?
mc:are you angry? its not anybody. he's my friend.
nana: friend? so what if he's your friend?dont you at least have the courtsey to tell me?
mc:i just want to ask you if he could sms you.
nana:sms me? he already did. and refusing to tell me who gave him my number?whats there to hide?
mc: i know its too late to tell you but i respect you thats why im telling you now.
nana: respect? now you're talking to me about respect?if you respect me, you would have the courtsey to ask me. since you had my number, before giving you could have asked right?
mc:chill la. im telling you now what.
nana: fine, i just tell the police your number and then ask them to sms you how does that work?
mc: thats 2 diff story.
nana: dfferent? its the same what. only more people know nia ma.
mc: can you just chill? im already telling you now.
nana: chill? a fucking person knows my fucking name and my fucking number who texted me not reveling who the fuck gave him my number. and i dont fucking know him!
mc:whats with all the vulgarities now?im already apologising to you.and before i can say anything there you are barking away.
nana:apologising? this is your way of apologising? and im not a dog.
mc:glad you know that.
nana: fine. i dont wna waste my tym shouting and screaming at you. who the hell is he? picture?
mc:but first, can you change your nick?it sucks.
[my pm was: mother fucker. by giving my number then telling me is not respect okay]
nana:what about it? im not talking about you. guess you admit its you.
mc:did i say it was me?
nana:then what i write is my problem what. why should i even change it?
mc: you're a stubborn girl.
nana:stubborn? who are you for me to listen to? i dont even know you. you're guilty of smthng thats why you're saying this what. stubborn? you dont even know me.

he gave me a bloody url in friendster who that guy uploads only icons and blurred group pictures?!?!?

nana:i cant even see him!
mc:sms him and ask for a picture la!
nana:no thank you
mc:up to you you're the one complaing.
nana:i never said i wanted this.

MOTHER FUCKER!
first of all, i dont know you.maybe i got a glimpse of you but i dont know you.
secondly, obviously i am mad and pissed. how the fuck would i know who that guy even is?it al links still, i dont know you.
thirdly, accused me of a dog? who wouldnt be mad?and your form of apologising?
fourthly,i NEVER ask you to intro friends to me. im of course pissed off if i know you its fine. but still, i DONT.
lastly, stubborn?because you dont like smthng i said?
a, i wasnt talking about you was i?
b, you're not my father, neither are you my boyfriend, you aint even my friend.
c, if you're not guilty of smthng, why would you even care abt what i said?
so what if you have a gang? this is what cat fight? ouh so you're gay? wow thats big.
by talking to a girl this way?
he's afraid of the poilce!lol!!!!!!
ouh right. it was his friend who sensed that i was mad thats why he came and tell me. cus his friend asked him to. way of befriending a girl?useless jerks.

i have absoluetly nothing to say anymore.
i have absolutely nothing to do with you anymore.
mother fuckers are not entertained.
thank you.
im not so angry as i was just now. mos burger's milk tea helps.
dont talk to me today. no mood to entertain.

2009-07-07T13:40:00.009+08:00

Ello earthlings!

ima update pictures...

it took forever to get them from my dear CMH.

that day was the tired day and the okayy almost sway day.

nono. not sway at all is that man scared the hell out of us.

he had a stupidd tag which looked exactly like those of HSA's.

worst. he walked towards us when we finished out sticks.

in the end, instead of anything else, we got cheated of $10 to get 5 stupid 40cents pens.

he ez talk only lor.nvmm..

do charity lahh.

DONT SAY IMA BAD PERSON okayyy!

hahahahhahahahha!

the 2 girls went shoe shopping and yes i got a lil bored cus i have almost every pair of heeld they sell already. lol. no lahh, not every pair but more or less a few. so yes! im bored of that shop alreadyyyy.. i started taking pictures. thanks to CMH's Cannon digital camera :D

hands up for GAP's supporter!

like paparazzi sial me. lol

hands DOWN for Sushi supporter!

oh ya. CMH, you still owe me $$! i forgot abt it today.. lol

We got really bored and tired so we ended up in burger king. and we started playing with CMH's camera and her new shades... hhahahahaShe sleeps even in BK!

Did i tell u i was auditioning to be the next sadako?

Mirror also so many fingerprints. hahaha..

my purpose wasnt suppose to take her. haha. i was taking the reflection of ME! vain pot!

CMH's signature poseeee...

Serena's signature pose?

Money money money.. in a rich's man world.

that was the only note CMH had. nono in total at all!

Oh yes. im also gna be promoting CANNON? lol
i know...

"thank you thank you" *blow kisses*

i just died.

Serena's middle finger's sways to a side one.. hahahha

i told you i'll get the role for Sadako. see her espression? cus she just saw me. lol.

CAM WHORING

And then she has to cover my face.

desperate measures for more moneyyy...

The guy in white's damn cute okayy. lol. thanks CMH for blocking!!! lol
okayy lahh, they actually notice me taking a picture. *o0ps*it was on purpose.

Her Camera make me look super flawless can!!! omggg.. if only..*bubbles bubbles*

the end...

wa eh.. im so sick of my ex ler lahh.

cb! he obviously dont understand girls STILL!
if a guy msgs a girl, and she keep mentioning to ask him to call his girlfriend instead, CLEARLY shows she's NOT interested in talking to him lahh.
almost everyday he sms ard 3 in the morning "you sleep already?"
arbo is " you sleeping?"
stupid or what? if you know i was sleeping you msg for what? if i was sleeping i was already RUDELY awaken by you can?
i have to adjust to learn how to sleep early right? school's gna start.
and then when i finally got to sleep, this bloody asshole smsed me.
profile was on general cus i set alarm which means if sms, it'll ring. bloody idiot.
i relpied and told hi to text his gf instead can. and dont bother me.
guess what he said?
:" heehee.she sleep already. you start school already?"
MOTHER FUCKER!
she sleep ler jiu dont disturb her. i sleep alreday jiu disturb.
NABEIIIIII!
and of every damn thing asking me if i started school already at 3 IN THE MORNING?!?!??!
no brains or what?
arbo jiu ask me to accompany him chat on the phone.
once was enough. one whole bloody hour was slient okayy.
i was watching AMerica's next top model and he called.
he said he didnt know what to say.
dunno then dont call!
he asked me to say smthng.
wth? you are the one who called me. i NEVER said i wanted to talk to you please.
one hour of slience. he keep asking me to talk. i cant even watch my show in PEACE!
in the end i told him if he didnt wna talk any longer, hang up.
he dont want!!!!!!
F.Y.I, it was 4 IN THE MORNING!

cheebye lahhh. very pek chek sial.
dont sms then he'll ask Reeve why i nvr reply him. then Reeve had to ask me.
no backbone lor. i was SUPER blind sial.
thank god! im not wif him anymore.
thank god i listened to Jeremy.
irritating ASSHOLE!

oh wells,
i'll only get angrier if ima say anything else about him. im super fked up ler!
bye earthlings!!

love,
nana

2009-07-06T20:45:00.002+08:00

oh my fk god!
so irritating lahh these childish people.
no i shuld say DESPERATE people.
idk how the fuck they got my number.
one claims to be my ex school mate who used to jio me??!?!??!
and another says he's jie wei. wth only.
and bloody liars.
97386706.
anyonee please spam him.. he said he's jiewei who got my number from friendster. obviously that was the first lie. i said i dun remember putting my number on friendster. then he was like "no la. i got it from msn"
msn obviously meant he got my number from summone.
i asked who gave him my number...
desperately he replied."how old are you? im 18"
HELLO I DONT WANNA KNOW!
he havent reply since i said this," if you're not gna answer my question, i wont answer your too."
desperate jerks.
fuck off uh eh.

my toes are in a damn not good state.
my new ballet demi pointes are giving me blisters at the wrong places.
i cant seem to really stand.

i have nth to blog abt. ima blog when u get pictures from jasmine tmrw.
bye earthlings!

love,
nana

2009-07-05T03:31:00.003+08:00

i know you're tying to help but dont..
i know you're tying to cheer me up but dont.
even you realised im not the same person i was 5 months ago.
so forget about that girl u know alrite?
the girl u know is no longer alive. i dont even know if she was.
that girl had been living a lie.
a lie she created to not upset people, a lie that made her closer to them.
a lie so she wuldn't feel so empty.
it was all a lie.

she's gone. now its me u're dealing with.
i'm not that weak girl who will defend only herself or keep quiet any longer.

forget who i was.
forget everything.
if even u realised im not me, leave me alone allrite?

you still don't get it do you?

2009-07-04T20:59:00.004+08:00

ENOUGH MEANS ENOUGH.

IMA SAY THIS ONLY ONCE.AND I MEANT ONCE.
I HAVE A NAME OKAYY.
A F.U.C.K.I.N.G NAME!
IF YOU'RE NOT GNA RESPECT ME, NEITHER WOULD I OKAY.
"EH" IS NOT A TERM I'LL RESPECT.
THAT IS R.U.D.E..
I HAVE A FUCKING NAME SO CALL ME BY WHATEVER NICKNAME THAT IS I HAVE INSTEAD OF "EH" OKAYY.
MAYBE NOT TO YOU, BUT IT IS TO ME. RUDE.
EITHER BY TEXT OR ANYTHING. STOP CALLING PEOPLE "EH"
AND I MEAN IT STOP.

AND F.Y.I, I'M NOT SHORT ALLRIGHT. IF YOU'RE SHORTER THEN ME, YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO CALL ME EH ISNT IT? YOU ARE THE EH ONE.
[eh in hokkien means SHORT]

BEST STILL. STOP CALLING ME OR TEXTING ME IF YOU FUCKING DON'T RESPECT ME.

i don't really care about any other thing but this, is too much.
maybe so u think im getting angry for nothing, but everyone has smthng that you will get annoyed if people dont respect that. this is mine.

supposed you still don't get it. i'm avoiding you.
yes i am. idk if i even did trusted you from the start.
yes continue being paris hilton for all i care.
but stop trying means and ways to hurt me anymore.
why am i always the fool?
to believe you once and again.
why am i the one who is always there for you when you needed someone?
and for all i know, i kept telling myself you were true.
and why am i such a fool to keep lying to myself when i know you have always been using me?
i'm only remembered when they're not there.
i'm always your excuse to escape and have fun.
in the end, i'm the bad guy.
always the bad guy.
obviously now i'm the best. cus im always the cover ups for almost everything.

i have had ebough. i'm not gna help you lie anymore.
i really have had enough.

bloodless vampire....

everything was allright until you came along...

2009-07-04T02:01:00.002+08:00

woke up damn early today to get my ass to Cantoment.
waited one fucking hour to get one fucking paper which tells us that the case isn't closed yet.

so it seemed.
it wasn't right at all.
well, one thing's for sure, i lost alot.
one thing ruined everything.
and i meant everything.

i lost trust,
i lost friends,
i lost love,
i lost faith,
i lost the will to believe,
i lost everything.

maybe so she don't really give a damn,
but we do.
fucking did.
maybe nothing did actually happened to her, but things happened to your so called "friends".
thanks.

i had been missing in action for sometym now. online but never seemed to have the mood to blog.
plus im hot and cold now.
hot as in i'll be in a really sucky mood and attiitude on and off.
cold as in i'll be really cold to people.

just like Sabri said, i have only been replying "lol" in msn,
look, i don't want to but i just don't have that mood to layan anymore. i cant seem to bring myself to talk that much. i've been hurt emotionally this tym. and i dont want this to drag on.
i hope you'll understand. and even smses. i seemed to have stopped replying messages too.
i dont suppose its only this thing tha's leaving me in the moodswings.

my ex is killing me!
he is super annoying!
or shuld i even say he's doing stuffs no saying things i wanted to hear when i was fucking with him.
i swear siak.
who the fuck in the right mind would sms his ex qns like " what are you doing?" " are you asleep? can you accompany me?"
like i told Ken, he'll definately sms me this at night.
and damn right i was true. continuously.
i have had almost enough lor.
right. i forgot. he didnt have to buy. cus that dog's free.

MJ.
seemed he's already very famous when he was alive. but he is even more when he's dead.
im not a huge fan of him but his death seemed to struck me also.
now even "beat it" is a sad song.

love,
nana....

2009-07-01T16:38:00.002+08:00

this is so cute. hahaha.
Thanks Sab!
erm...its in malay and english..

i'll translate:

Yesterday i called you, but you didn't answer.
You said you went out for dinner.
You said you went out with your friend.
But when i Called Tommy he said it wasn't true.
So i drove my car to the football place,
Tommy said maybe you were watching football.
But when i reached, you was not there.
The more i go mad.
So i called and called then you answered,
You said," Sorry love just now didnt hear"
"my phone was on slient, i was at the gym"
But htere was another female voice in the background.
Enough lah love, i don't believe you.
I've always known that you're words were never true.
Why am i with you? I also don't know!
No wonder lah my friends also don't like you.
So i guess thats the end of our story,
The last say, she accepted his apology.
but in the end we all know that she was cheating on him too.
With her ex boyfriend's best friend, Tommy.
Busted!

NO. MORE. CARBS!

2009-06-29T23:51:00.001+08:00

WA EH I DAMN UPSET.
PEOPLE SAYS IM FAT.
THIS IS SO UPSETTING!
IMA DO HARDCORE TRAINING NOW.
WEIGHT LOSSS. WEIGHT LOSS.
DIET DIET NOWW.
OR I CULD EVEN DIE NOW.....

P/S DONT COMFORT ME SABRI!

i cannot function without fashion.

2009-06-26T22:03:00.004+08:00

ello earthlings.
im so sorry to everyone who had been worrying about me.
thanks and STOP worrying!
i'm allrite now. i can fly already.

sorry i havent been blogging and updateing about all your worries.
i have been watching tv dramas.
going to the library to read books for school. which sucked badly.
and also i'm lazy lahh.

everything's fine at home already.
and im glad the treatment didnt last. *phewww*
i was going crazyy okayy.

god have been playing with people these days.
M.J died!
its super sudden okayy.
i meant there was no news about him in a really long long tym and suddenly,
"Michael Jackson died last night.."
he was a talent everyone knew.
he was the king of pop everyone respected.
listening to his songs gives me a different kind of feeling everytime.
however, this tym, sadness seemed to engulf.
its strange how he seemed close to people when he's not.

R.I.P, M.J.....

i'm super upset the last 2 days.
my sayang broke!
stupid lcd lenses.
now under servicing.
i cannot function without my fone sial!
i depend on electronics too much.
and thats not good.
my temp fone's retarded already.
M.F...
cheebye that Lg girl at tampines onee.
i really wna maki her.

:" my lcd's cracked what am i supposed to do? culd i repair it here?"
[she gimme that irritated not happy look]" no. u have to repair at service centre"
:"how much does it costs?"
[stares]" $150 to $200"

cheebye. i just walked away. then i realised i didnt ask where to repair. so i asked Sab to ask her.
nabei what annoyed me was her attitude!
she changed her attitude towards Sab!
i realised. cus Sab's a guy.
cheee byeeeeeee!

dah lahh. dont wna talk about her.
my blood boils sial.
Lasalles's "required readin" books are driving me to my grave.
seems nobody heard of the books before.
and i actually spent onee bloody hour looking for them in 4 huge multi tinkat shelfs.
which sucked cus i only found 3!
M.F.

i blew $200 on Ballet stuffs! im gg crazy!
was only supposed to get demi pointes but i ended up getting another leotard, summore stockings, wrap skirt, jazz sneakers, foot thongs and my demi pointes.
everything cam up to 200! nabei.
thank god mummy was there.
if not idk how i'll make it back home.

he's frustrating!
i don't know why or what he wants.
Calling me at night and flirted?
texting me to "care"?
i never got that from you when i was with you.
why are u doing this to me?
tryna tell me how your girlfriend listens to u and not get upset cus you're contacting other girls?
wait, lemme make this clear.
thats not what you call a girlfriend.
you call that a dog.
what kind of girlfriend dont get mad when u're contacting girls in the middle of the night when she's asleep?
so thats what u did to me isnt it?
what kind of girlfriend always listen to you?
you were like 50/50 when we were together.
and i realised you havent grow up anyway.
telling me that you're not angry and that u just wna know why i nvr reply your smses. and that if i didnt like it you will stop smsing me.
tell me what am i suppose to reply to " ohh.. haha."????
tell me why do u wna know what i'm doing?
tell me why u keep saying your gf wuldn't mind you smsing me?
so thats your form of TRUST?
telling people that u're sick and tired of me "controlling" you?
hello, controlling you?
i NEVER did that. i never wanted you to keep me company 24/7.
i never told u u couldnt go out with your friends or play basket ball.
I NEVER!
you got used to it.
YOU got used to me.
YOU stopped ur activities.
not me. i never did.
so was it me controlling you or you getting used to me?
you not giving me privacy?
i dont understand.
i don't understand you.
and so i realised,i never did.
I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointin' out my wrongs
i never needed pain,i never needed strain.
My love for you was strong enough you should've known.
I never needed you for judgement
I never needed you to question what i spent
I never asked for help,
I take care of myself,
I don't know why you think you got a hold on me.
And it's a little in the conversations
There isn't anything that you can say.
I never needed your corrections
On everything from how i act to what i say
i never needed words,
i never needed hurt,
i never needed you to be there everyday
I'm sorry for the way i let go
Of everything i wanted when you came along
But i am never beaten, broken, not defeated
I know next to you is not where i belong
And it's a little late for explanations
There isn't anything that you can do because,
There is no other way
I get the final say
Because I don't want to
Do this any longer
I don't want you
There's nothing left to say
I've already spoken
Our love is broken.

bye earthlings.
i'll upload pictures when i get them from CMH and Serenaaaaa^^
love,
nana.

ignorance is NOT bliss

2009-06-24T00:03:00.003+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!
this is soooooo super duper duper frusterating!!!!
Life obviously had not been treating me well.
i'm so caught up in everything!
troubles never seem to know the exits in my life.
instead, they keep entering my life.
damn fucked up one okayy.

getting in trouble with the law,
getting in trouble for the most little thing,
all got me into trouble with my parents.

tell me what kind of useless daughter would keep getting into trouble with every little thing there is?
i'll tell you.........
ME.

as far as i know, i'm just trying to get out of troubles.
whatever type of troubles it may seem.

like fone's LCD screen cracked also myy fault.
nabei im super tired of all this little little thing they put togeher which they call "LIFE".
all this really left me no mood to do anything!
anything except ballet.

i guess the only thing that could make me happy though whatever ther is is BALLET.
and its always ballet.
dancing cures every damn thing.
but not emotionally.

try to act the same but its killing me inside.
im really trying to be the "good girl"
but i cant seem to get that right.
when things cool down, i realised im in another picture which spells trouble AGAIN.
its so damn irritating!

slient treatments and ignorance at home?
and they say ignorance is bliss.
i dont agree.

everyone tells me they need tym.
i really hope things clear soon.
im miserable!
im super miserable.
im now restricted from almost everything!
no more shopping.
no more going out with friends.
no more alos everyrhing except HOME.
and Dance classes.

i seriously mcm prisoner now.
i needa go fix my stupid LCD screen tmrw.
i sayang my fone tau!
nabei!

needa go harbourfrount tmrw.
shitttttt!

i have no mood anymore.
byee earthlings!

thanks Sabri for the Channel.
sorry gor gor culdnt meet you today.

2009-06-21T23:21:00.000+08:00

complications just got complicated.