i've finally realise what love is.
you.
love is you.
its been long since i last felt ur skin on mine.
its been long since i last recieved ur care.
and i finally understood what real love does to someone.
what real love is.

btw,find me at tumblr instead :)

http://stepharinananana.tumblr.com

xoxo,

Hello:D
i've actually realised that there are people reading this spaceof mine.
so sorry for the emotional sessions i had.
it had been a hard time without him.
things got way out of hands when stories twisted thanks to some "friends".
but hack.i dont give a damn.
thankfully for some events that got me the courage to talk to him again.
well, things are working out just fine now.
we actually spent some alone time and talked things out.
im actually thankful he came back.
maybe its true that i can't live without him :D

okayy i guess i'llmake up to what mylife had been gg thru.
i really wished things could have gone back to my cousin's wedding.
things were just as fine then.
and that was on the 29th of november 2009.

i was the bride'smaid!
i super love the dress.too bad it was a rental :(

and then things got haywired.

no school,boyfriend busy,things got messed up.

we did talk in someways but things got worse then better and then worse again.

till Xinyi's 21st chalet on the 6th Feb 2010.

things were AWESOME!!

i had the best night with him.

i couldn't ask for more.

it was onlyhim i saw and me he saw.

the couples got busy their own.

and the other 2 left early.

Xy and her bf knocked out with their friends later that day.

till now the night seemed like it was just yesterday.

he remembers the night clearly as well.
best i ever had.

and im grateful for more to come:D

Lasalle's open house 2010

i can't remeber the date.it was somewhere in feb i think.

Lasalle's rythem ensemble...

fucking fun.

boyfriend played too:D

And then there was Chingay 2010.

im still waiting for Susi to upload pictures.

it was fun.

but the process was tiring ttm.

the late night rehersals and school early in the morning the next day.

but boyfriend gave me support to hang on.

well, that was like cny period,close to the performance.

it was when we got close,like really close again :D

i love my shirt.

its like 3 sgd bucks only.from batam.

it explains the tired faces.

this was show day.

and then late afternoon - night at (certain days) rehersal for 'Now showing'..

another foundation production by the theatre and dance students.
fun fun fun.

more fun when the show ended :P

there were many shots to this group photo.

i guess this is the most perfect one.

variations item by us.

super multi coloured.

nice combination though :D

Sing Sing Sing.

most exposed outfit i had on for any dance piece i've done before.

but wooo.i loved it!

the dance was great too. except if there was lightings....

hours before the show...

I'm a woman scene.
thank god it was over.i had to start the song...

strange pose i had and Anggerek had a snap of it...

backstage dramas:

lovely Serene :D

and with Evelyn..

Anita, Serene and Susi!

they were apparently en pointe to balance their heights and mine except for Susi.

and then the wholegang minus Dex.

love this picture:D

the two xin as "kidnappers"..

trying to nab me. totaly didnt know i was in this shot.

but its classic man.

all the same espressions...

thanks for this shot Anggerek.

one word for this shot, VAIN. and that would be me.

quick change of clothes for rehersal run.
and am always camera ready :D

post production bbqat Robert's..

whats the worst part,finding and getting out of the place.

it was fun and forgive my anyhow dressing and unglammed puffy face.

had bf problems the night before....

[its sorted out now]

and everyone else looked great for a bbq!

damn.

Cards at Robert's nest.

love our espressions.

classic.

looks like i just caught them"breaking the sofa"..

damn,i love my legs.

okay,seriously,i havent been taking alot of pictures.

will try to.

lazy to take pictures uh.

not so in dressing up now :D

im in love with you baby >

in case you were wondering,you're like a hurricane to me.

your violence is beautiful,your center is sweet.

in case you were wondering,you're everything to me.

Love,

Nana

Labels: the only one i belong to.

hello :D
sorry i've been sorting out alot of things recently and im glad things got better then it was before.
school's fine.
baby's getting busy.
im getting thinner.
jialat.
im such a mess now.
hate the length of my hair :(
i hve nth to blog about man.
school's school.
project week "supposed to be holidays" also back to school. no difference!
kay im gg to bed.just wanted to let you know im allright.


dear baby;
i guess i dont have the courage to tell you how happy i am now that im back in ur arms.
yes im annoying you.i guess you're used to :P
those early morning texts really gave me alot of strength to stand up and be strong for you.
im really moved by everything you've started to realise and i know how much i mean to you now.
know, i cherish these very moments when im with you and all this affection you've been showing me really touched me deep inside.
i suppose you do believe and do know exactly how much you mean to me from the start.
baby, we're meant to be.
i know you see that now.
im in love with you idiot!


love,
Nana

Labels: i'm addicted to u.everything about u.

hello.
i've been ignoring this space for the longest time.
and no,i have not killed myself in anyways.
i've been busy to even come online.
things had been going well for baby and me..
well, technically he've always been my baby and still is.
and technically,back tgt.
had been flying on cloud nine since xy's party.
well,despite the fact that some idiots trys so hard to ruin alot of things.
im glad baby trusts me.
and yes,we both could feel and we both know we were fated to meet and to be tgt.
i feel the love he gives me now.
i only kesian dia for all the gigs and jamming sessions he had to go thru these days.
all i need to know and i do know,and so does he,is that he lovesme. so do i =D

i wna sleep and need to sleep alrdy.
im falling sick.
NOT good!
show's on friday!!!
eeyer!
okayyy...need water and need topractise the fucking line.

im in love with baby!
whats new.hahaha.
byeee!

love,
Nana

Labels: IZZAT BABY I LOVE YOU

baby,
you know,i'm really glad you would sit down and talk about us that night.
im really happy you came.
i really understand the situation you're in finally.
and im really glad you'd talk about it.
the msg you sent me once you got home really moved me in someways.
knowing you're so damn tired but still willing to type a long text is really smthng really special.
and that chemistry and bond there is btwn us.
i feel it getting stronger.our love havent stopped growing.
i know you're aware of that.
idk what people had been bitching about me going crazy and whatever fuck there is about me and you. but whatever it is,you know it isnt me.
im sorry i've been really paranoid.
just because i didnt understand.
i hope time will really get me back into ur arms,cus i know i still somehow belong there.
enuf said.
its still you.
its meant to be....
i believe. so should u baby.
i'll be waiting and you know that i will.
you light up my life.
you're NEVER just a part of my life.
you are my life.
and i love you more than words could say.
imy....


love always,
Nana

Labels: that truth tt's dere i cannot lie

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,in my heart
In my soul
You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you
And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

i never knew what to say anymore.
i never knew how to speak anymore.


Dear baby,
my blog's probably dead and there's more or less a high chance you're not viewing it.
you've been online alot recently cus your computer's fixed.
but i never knew how to talk or start a conversation anymore.
idk how or why.
there seemed to be so much i wna tell you.but seems i cant.
im not running away.
im not avoiding.
it had really been a hard few months without you.
i know what you're feeling about us.
i know you want the best for me and that you love methat much to care so fucking much.
but baby,have it ever occur to you that by doing this instead,im not any happier? by doing this instead,im suffering in slience?
its not only me who could tell you care this much you know baby.
you know, even you told Wayne you'll be gg to XY's party with me.
and you had to add "see if im doing anything or not that day lah"
you know, i really really hope with all my heart that you'll come along with me.
its fairly not cus of lust.
i just wna spend a night with you.
i really hope you'll be there with me.

fate?or just concidence?
first time its a passy by,
second,its concidence,
third, its fate.
you're always at an angle where both me and you could see each other clearly.
we're mostly always digonally opposite each other in class.
its hard for me to look away or even pretend you're not looking. cus god damn you are.
but you know,thats when im really glad, though im not right beside you or smthng,but there'll still be that smile on my face whenever its you i see.

baby, i dont wish to continue this pretence.
none of my smiles is me smiling from my heart alrdy.
exceptfor the days where i actually speak to you face to face.
i see the times you always play with the pendant.
and looking at it like it was something special.
as much as i hope,i sure hope it is still something special.
cus it is to me.its not only special.its precious.

i miss how much you always disturb me.
i miss how much i always pick up stupid fights with you.
i miss the long conversations you'llmake with me online.
i miss how you'll say you'lltalk to me when its halftime whenever there was a man u match.
i miss how we'll walk hand in hand in the dark park knowing im afraid to be walking alone.
i miss how you'llalways give me a kiss before we part (which you still do... and then you had to spoil everything by telling me you didnt know why you did it and that you're sorry you did.which i know you obviously do know why you did that.)
i miss how you always complain about the long journeys to and fro from tampines to cck but still insist on sending me home.
i miss giving you stupidly early morning calls and ur lazy voice in the morning.
i miss your hugs and kisses.
i miss everything about you.


i wish you were here.
idk what else i could say.
yes,i am always here.
and yes im hoping and am waiting.
cus right now, all i know is that i know you and that it is you.
i love you baby dear.
you know that right?
im excited and am looking forward to saturday with you.
i hope you wont play me out.
cus i'vealrdy told XY you're coming :)

love,
Nana

Labels: i'll do whatever it takes to keep us together baby.