Hihi.. i haven been blogging for quite some time alrdy cus im super irritated with my broadband.
i hope i can finish this post before i get disconnected again.
im jobless. and i've been doing nth but spend money buying and watching taiwan dramas.
im becomming more and more of a drama mama too!!!
im not even contacting anyone f my besties at all!!
maybe except for yani who texted me randomly today. but it end up in like 2 texts den full stop.
school started for her alrdy. damn i miss her truckloads!!!
d last person i contacted and got to get out with was claire.
izzati's jobless too still i guess. had been gg out with her job hunting but had stoped so now.
joy's working and i hardly even get to see her except like once a week for 1 and a half hr of ballet maybe a lil more.
liz is schooling so no one to bake with or even hus hop with.
Q, i hven contacted her since her birthday or isit a few days after.
yess... i've drifted away...

i really need a job!!!
i cant afford to keep shaking my legs at home.
water and electricity bill had rose.
but im kinda giving up on job hunting alrdy.
i've spent like a month job hunting but to no avail.

school starts in august..
oh btw, im accepting lasalle's intake instead of nafa's.
lasalle's a diploma for d first 3 yrs and bachalor d next and then a masters d following.
but nafa's only a diploma for 3 or 4 yrs.
so yea.. im taking a challenge for the lasalle's degree instead.
im in love with the school!!!
and the dance studio is huge!!!
its like 2-3 times bigger then crestar's studio!!!
we can do like 5 grand jete in the studio!!!
and 16 posse pirouettes side to side of the studio,not diagonally!

sorry if u dunno what im talking abt. im getting crazier by day.
my mom's temper haden been as good anihows.
she's always up and down. i get scolded for no particular reason one time den the next, im like a 100% angel.
i admit i've cursed a million times at her in a day.
d other reason she's scolding me is cus i dun have a job.
i seriously tried to ask for part time and full time ut the fact that noone's free and that noone's hiring is driving ME insane alrdy. the ridiculious thing is that my mom starts nagging abt me not being serious and not wanting to find a job. she always brings this up when she starts to scold for no particular reason.the thing im pissed is that there are some places that are looking for part time or even full time. i realli wanna work. but when i disscuss wif her abt tt particular job that has a vacancy, she says no.
i really have no idea what the fuck she really want me to do. i mean, she nvr know how much i've tried to look for a decent job to past time but she nvr gives me the chance to try for the job that has a vacancy. and then i dun think that she has the right to tick me off for not finding a job cus i've been gg door to door despite which shop,looking for a bloody fucking job!!
somebody tell me what am i supposed to do or say. im sick and tired of all dis. dad always stands at her side wich is a thing cus she shows and tells another story to dad and to me.

u angels out there reading my blog, if u had always envied me being the only child, i'll switch places with one whose parents dun care abt him/her and focuses their attention with ur siblings. just so they give me money and dun care who or what i mix ard with. im 100% willing to trade with u with everything i have.

done. i manage to complete this post without getting disconnected.
replies to tag board: Chinsiang- thanks brother!! oh just so u know, i've cut down on sticks. haven touched one in a week alrdy.

Serena- i've choosen lasalle instead cus i rather another 2 yrs to get a degree then 3 yrs on a diploma.

Hezron-hey brother! thanks man! im fine. nvr better. hope u're good too. made some new friends i hope?or arre u bored to death cus we're not there?heehee:)

JOY'-hey hey baby! thanks thanks! i miss u alot alot and for god's sake im done rotting at home!!! i really need a job!!!!


love,
nana

YESSSSSSSS!!!!
i got accepted to both NAFA and LASALLE!!!!!

man.. my modemn is low...
super irritating!!

i can't believe she still has a hatered against me after almost 5 yrs!!
god damnit..
i know smthng's obviously not right and that we both can't click but i haven seen u since 2005 and u're still bad mouthing me about the past to MY friends?
how low can u be?
just bcause u're trying to keep J by ur side doesnt give you the right to keep bad mouthing me.
bcause u are jealous of smthng abt me u didnt have to bad mouth me.
i gave up J tt tym cus u talked her into bfriending u instead.. childish nonsence...
losing ur virginity still doesnt make u very bright or matured isn't it?

b4 i loses connetivity angain. i shall logg out alrdy..
till nxt tym...

p/s if u had smthng tt u wanted to say or spam my tag board, kindly place ur fking name big and clearly. if not i think i have the right and the privacy to say what i wanted to. if u're not happy with smthng,KINDLY state ur name.

i tranced upon my horoscope in a magazine...
it kinda seems true but i hve the slightlest idea if its real...

love- despite your attempts to talk urself out of it, you can't conntrol yourself-- you're falling in love with someone who is way out of your legue. and the good news is that he or she seems to be reciprocating your love.all you need now is a fool-proof plan to land your dream lover.

alot has been gg on aft o lvls...
oh wells.. im realli praying tt i'll get into nafa...
im super tired...
cus of this audition, i hve to learn a totally new dance in erm...*counting*[saturday,sunday,today]3 dayss!!!
tmrw's the audition btw..

oh here's smthng rather interesting girls...
what his kisses really mean:

his move- he slowly kisses yourr neck
what it means-he's trying to impress you
why he does it-he's hoping to attract the girl

his move-he gives you a peck on the check
what it means- you make him nervous
why he does it-2 things:he doesnt wanna risk moving too fast or he's too afraid to make the first move

his move-he sucks your bottom lips
what it means-he feels comfortable with you
why he does it-he's finally relexed to b ard you and had been waiting to kiss you like that.

his move-he hold your chin
what it means-he's not into it
why he does it-he's not clicking with you but wants to make out.he hold your chin so he culd control how long the kiss is gna be.

girls.. bcareful of what he's doing..
it means smthng...


why do tou always enter my life when i've 70% fogotten abt you?
why am i always the first u'll call or ask smthng impt?
its always you..
but later u'll jus dissappear...
i hear nth frm you...
when can you allow me to totally forget abt you?
if u wna hhurt me then let me forget abt you cus this hurt is more then i shuld hve felt.
but if u wna stay, dun walk away...



p/s:i was already in too deep.. Because when i thought of him,his voice,his hypontic eyes,i wanted nothing more then to be with him.

love,
nana

okay here's the deal.
i reli nd to understand what boys are thinking.

firstly, some guy who dissappeared frm my life for 2 yrs w/o contacting at all, wna get into my life jus by chatting for a day.
u even lost my number! tell me den, cus i do stuffs that u dont and i am supposed to quit cus of u?cus u wanted me to?
cus what cus i smoke?so?this wud b my problem. u did it to jus so happened that some girl u used to liike asked u to.
wth is his problem?
and he doesnt accept me saying that i am not ready for a relationship and that i dun care.
i hve been hurt by him b4.
im not ready to lose a friend bcus of this.
i maybe that tatoo in u, but i know she left a deep deep scar.

another one are guys asking me silly qns and i dun even fucking noe or care what it reali is and why do they need to know.
jus so happens that i drifted away and that i had bcame quieter doesnt make any difference what. i mean i am still me. only so i need to know what and/or why do guys need to know abt me so much? why do u nd to know what i think and/or feel for u?

i've been hurt tyms that i was serious. if u wud to enter my life agn right now if i wud to accept u, i wun b me. i wun b serious. i swear and i mean it. i wun take this relationship seriously as i did b4 cus if i was serious, i'd only get hurt. so if u think and know that im talking abt u, i hope u understand that i hve no intention what so ever to hurt u. u were the one who suddenly asked and talk to me. i nvr wanted to play. but its not fair to me either. its not like u cud take back that $2 u played and lost but ened up knowing u cud actually win and wanted it back. thats cheating and its not fair. cus all this time it was only what YOU wanted not me. nvr me. i didnt say yes or no i didnt even hve the say in this thing.

so if tts clear now i'd say agn, I AM NOT READY FOR A NEW RELATIONSHIP.
i dun wna hurt anyone neither wanted anyone to hurt me agn.cus if that happens, i dun think the doctors in the operating room cud save the beating of my heart.


god!!! pls admit me into nafa or laselle. arbo i hve to wear polo tee ler..
and its d same skull wif someone i used to b super close with and right now awkwarddness engulfed.

after all this time i still think the guy who reli sayang me is still KEN ONG KA EN.
d only one who reli cares.
the one who will not care abt his own life to protect me though its gg against his will.
cus he's not my boyf. but he does sacrifice alot cus anf jus for me.
~lalala..

i dun care ler. i jus cant be bothered.
will upload pictures agn nxt tym.
gg to bed ler.im beat.
till then..

love,
nana