trying to forget someone you love
is like trying to remember someone you've never met.

the bad things in life opens your eyes to
the good things you were'nt paying attention to before.

don't ever give up if u still wanna try.
don't ever wipe your tears if you still wanna cry.
don't suite for an answer if you still wanna know.
don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go.

i tried.
i lied.
but still,
i lost.
though i'm still thinking of you.

he left my life
so did HE.
HE was there
but HE cheated.
i lied.

OMFG!!

moe posted me to ITE...

well.. out of 7 choices 6 are ITE choices..

now i can only hope either appeal to poly gets in or nafa or laselle gets in...

but im like happy dispite all this nonsence skull stuff...

16 yrs alrdy wasted tym studying...

so.. i dun really care now...



i had a blast wif my 2 beloved ytd...

i seriously love dis 2 babes...

celebrated Yani's birthday in sentosa..

Yani prepared nuggets and hot doggs for us...*sweet*

Zati bought alot of tibits wich somehow are with me now...



seems like ytd was blangala's day as well...

dey were in reli obscene swimwears and d three of us were like "EEW ALERT!!"

it was zati's lucky day to see 2 guys holding hands...

bangalas...

damn eeew...

seriously...





dis was shisha aft sentosa...

we spent $$54 dere...

but shisha was fun.. it doesnt taste or feel harmful then ciggerettes...

but it is harmful to the body...

but who cares?

we're all gna die one day isnt it?

seriously, if u're to shisha, dun go to d top of d shop...

tiara caught the picture but Yani jus came in frnt of me d same tym tiara pushed the button.

sentosa

BFFS!!!!

man i fucking love her!!!!

giler Yani and ultra giler me...
i swear d boys bhind were looking at us...

sentosa is so calm.. d water is relly salty but clean...
very clean..

see.. i told u we had fun...

i burried Zati's feet.. and she burried mine..

so we were "stucked" in this position...

this is what tourists usually do when dey're in sentosa...

bangalas... "EEW ALERT"

look! they're holding hands!!!!

wanted to play but no ball...
so only can take pictures...

BEAUTY ALERT!

BIMBO ALERT!

lesson learnt: NEVER let YANI hve possession of camera...

majority of d pictures were taken by her...
[includiing the bangalas..]



oke.. im curently freaking out..

i was with u nvr official..

u've hurt me more then u'll ever knew and now aft 2 yrs u're cuming back to tell me that u're falling for me...

look.. i know this is hard.. but.. i know she's still in within u...

before me it was her.after me it was still her..

bcus of smthng she wrote made u understand and listen.

but tt doesnt mean i'd b like you..

why do i hve to quit smoking cus of u?

cus u're not my bf in d first plce.

secondly, u hvent contacted me ever since u left.

that scar u once left had healed.

why do u wna reopen it agn?

i dun wna get hurt or worse i hurting u.

i've been there done that and i nvr wna do it agn..

i've changed.

im not tt lil innocent girl u once fell for.

i was but im not anymore.

im not tryna reject u or anything but i dun wna lose my freedom wif my frens now that i love them more then anybody in the universe.

its jus reli wierd that aft so long thaen u wna get back.. if we contacted thru this 2 yrs, dere is no doubt in this.. but i hven heard a scratch frm u at all.

i maybe a tattoo on u, but she's a scar.. a scar is for life...u can remove the tattoo anytime...

another one's freaking me out..

by gg thru my frens to ask abt obvious answers or qns is reli not the right key.

being close to me doesnt make any difference also..

i shuld hve realised... i did but i didnt feel anything.

u probably hve many stuffs of me..

idk...

but i rather not lose a good friend u understand...

though u hven made any move, i can feel..

but i do not reprocicate the feeling.

i hope u nvr will make any move on me cus by then, even i cannot save this friendship.

u've been secretly duing stuffs.. but i'll nvr noe..

but its obvious and i saw b4 so...

i'm tryna keep my cool and not think abt it..

but now.. i'll keep a distance frm u...

no matter what it is...

stop trying to get my attention cus I AM NOT INTERESTED.

u're not my type.

love,

nana

im beat...
today isonly the second day of CNY and im like super tired alrdy.
but Cny seems to only last for 3 days.
after the 3 day, im gna start rotting at home alrdy.
but i love chinese new year!
its when the whole family actually settles together and do catch up[s].

the thing about my family is rather interesting cus,
firstly, we're straits-borned chinese also known as peranakans or baba[s],nyonya[s]
secondly, my family's big.. i mean really big.
thirdly,we run to almost every uncle and auntie's houses.

i guess i dun hve to say abt the peranakan's history cus the "lil nyonya" actually introduced the history. but seriously, its not all right. actually spotted alot of mistakes. few basics were also seen. and peranakans are observant. well in a way luh. first thing was the sarong they wore.its wrapped wrongly.den was the address.address as in the way to address a person. say mother was nya,that was right.but mother in law is not nya.its neo. tia is father that was also right but father in law is eng tau,not tia. great grandmother is more known as chor ma instaead of chor chor. and the pantuns, peranakans seldom sing the same song. but i hve to admit that the baju kebayas were reli pretty. the show is actually real in a sense of clothes,food not so cus there were more usual dishes that were supposed to be shown like ayam buakeraks, itek tim, babi ponteh etc. its now like an in thing when it comes to peranakan stuffs cus of that show. peranakans are really particular i should say. so if u see a real peranakan, try not to offend him/her cus u'll nvr noe that kind of hard tym u'll get of the nags u'll hear!well, i am a baba kia:) peranakans are really good cooks! i swear if u get to taste the real cooking, u'll start to crave for more.


my family is big. if u would to count the third generation, which is my generation, and according to rank by age, i am no. 43. if count rank frm 2nd generation's kids, i am no. 45.
this is only where i stand with my cousins.
the second generation ther is 18 of them.
10 guys, 8 girls.
my dad is no.17 /18.
because the family are peranakans, u'll see them in a different light when its not chinese new year. my uncles and aunties are ppl that u wuldnt wna mess ard wif if u're not called "family".
fierce as they are and fierce as they look but fun to be with when they are they.so if u think my dad's fierce, u have not met the family.
i managed to take pictures with almost all of my uncles.
actually to make fun of my dad and compare their eyes.
cus i hve small eyes and i think i know who's gene that is from... cus seems all my uncles have small eyes...
this is my first uncle.

this is my second uncle and my second aunt.

this is my third uncle and my third aunt.

this is my fourth uncle.[seems i hve his look]

this is my seventh uncle[i think if my calculations are not wrong he shuld b 7th]

this is my ninth uncle.

but one thing for sure, the height is from my dad not the generation gene.
im close to my family in a way cus my uncles and aunties treats their nieces and nephews like their own.

went to those houses i should go alrdy tdy. the thing i dun like abt cny is that all we actualli do is, visit, drink beer, eat,visit,drink wine, eat......and it goes on... cus im like the scapegoat whre those who drives or dun wna drink but drink and cnt finish it, i'm there...

and yes, i hve one sip too many i guess so i'm gna turn in alrdy:)

good night!

happy lunar NIU year!!!

love,

nana

so this is what im gna do for d next few months?

damn.. i cant wait till next week..

met Q and Yunisha for dinner jus now.

Labels: I'm tryna erase you from my mind

results are out...
i didnt cry...
cus i dun hve confidence frm d start.
but by some miracle, i've got a E8 for maths!!!
iznt tt utterly fantestic that for 4 continous yrs i've got a F9 in my report bk and an E8 for olvls!!

he's still as sweet but idk if im still in...
tell me what kind of guy would text "good morning" to a gal like 630 in d morning?
just b4 he goes to school?
or even care if i hven eaten breakfast?
damn.
idk dis anymore..
i wuld nvr deny his 'truth'...
that sweet and decent guy i've realli ever had met.
i just don't noe if he feels dis way towards me.
its a 50 50 thing.
i cant pput high hopes can i?
unless smthng reli happens tt is...
idk.. im confused..
im afraid i'll look at dis d wrong way, by den my heart will shatter again...
i wished i knew what was goin thru his mind wen he texted me.
cus we started texting frm d tym i woke up till i saw him and right after i left him.
i need to see him again...
i wuldnt deny tt i miss him.
i miss his touch..
and those magic we shared..


I'm still holding on and you're still the one
The first time our eyes met it's the same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger and I wanna love you a lil longer
You still turn the fire on
So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love you a little more than I should
Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me If I need you like I do
Please believe me Every word I say is true
Please forgive me i can't stop loving you


i remember when you used to be mine
Way back whenI was too naive to love you right
But now if I only had the opportunity
I would do anythingBecause my heart still believes
Maybe you could be mine again
Maybe we could make that dream for real
Like way back then
When love was yours and mine
Maybe we could bring it back to life
It's irrelevant to dwell on the past
I'm accountable for what went bad
And I mean that
But I keep on praying for another chance
Just to have you back
Cause I've grownAnd I know how to be your everything
No, no it ain't over yet
I just can't accept the possibility
We weren't made for each other's arms
I know you're my destiny
We can't erase what was meant to be
Part of you and part of me
If we try one more time
Maybe somehow we'll survive

will fate show me the way back into ur arms or thru ur arms and losing u forever?

Labels: at times i tried to hide inside, that truth tt's dere i cannot lie

it feels superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr wierd that everyone's in skull and im at home...
cant sleep thanks to dunman...
fking noisy luh..

been working during the weekends though..
parkway watsons...
i can say.. THE JOB SUCKS BIG TIME!!!!
its worse then dancing for 8 hrs...
worse.. ALOT WORSE...
standing at d same bloody spot for 6 hrs...
but its fun though..
in a way..
people there are super nice..
made friends..
seems im d youungest promoter there..
and the tallest..
erm.. xcept for benny...
but i tink i help watsons sell their products more then i did for my own..
ppl are constantly asking like "miss uh u noe whre this is at ma?.."
hve to master the shop's plan and whre stuffs are placed...
im standing in front of goodies.. ferrero roches...
like omggg.
and singaporeans hve a "exciting"sex life as condoms were constantly going off shelf in a jifty..

the management is the terror..
INHUMANE..
i understand tt term not slacking and talking?
but we cant even whisper wen there is no crowd luh..
that lady i should say..
in polite term, not the kind i'd like working for..
in rude term, inhumane..
i mean.. we're human afterall...
if i wasnt working there, i would hve fked her upside down..
d first day i went there, i was asking for the management staff and d gals there were kind enuf to show me to her.. but the thing she first said was "WHAT?!?!"
i xplained tt sato sent me to b a promoter here and all..
she gave me tt face..
tt kind of face tt makes ppl wna slap her..
seems she cant actually speak nicely...
watsons have seriously no life when she's around...
everyone seems DEAD.
wen sumone jus asked a lil qns, and she saw she'll stare at tt person and sort of say "uh talk talk talk"
but the thing i cant stand was her "misusing" her position..
there was this "concert" thingy outside watsons and yea her idol was performing...
but it wasnt her break time or anything and guess what and where she was..
she can stay away frm whre she SHOULD be and so.. we dun hve the space to talk at all...
c.. tts truely what i ccant stand lor..
the promoters there are like super noe how to siam her one...
cus no sale she'll maki maki maki u...
but they damn fast...
thank god im not working there aft dis wk ler....
d next tym she'd to show me tt face, i'll confirm fk her upside down...
i pity those aunties there..
take water bottle oso cannot...
d other staff and management are alot better lor...

blah.. enuf abt her.. talking abt her jus makes my blood boil...
yayyyyyyy! im gna pool agn tdy:)
hven gotta upload pictures in bangkok..
will do it some other time...
getting lazyyyy...

thanks Claire for companying me for dinner on sunday:)
loveeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!

love
nana